Alchemy and Anxiety

I don't know about you, but I feel so weird these days, so out of sorts, so self-conscious and aware and filled with adrenaline and disgust and anger and -- should I go on? I miss blogging, too. I miss marking my days here and the casual way I'd throw out some thoughts and observations, a bit of poetry, a rant or two. I'm not tired of blogging or of blogs, either. I am preoccupied. I am so afraid of normalizing that POS running the country, the sycophants that support him, those that still maintain we must come together. Come together, my ass. I'm as overwhelmed as every other woman by the toppling of the patriarchy, too. When is the head dude, though, the Sexual Predator in Chief, going to get his due?






I'm baking a lot of cakes. I baked this one:

Coconut Cake with Coconut Buttercream

and I made five of these:

Apple Toffee Crunch Cake with Cinnamon Buttercream

I made about a million of these:

yeast dough rolled in cinnamon sugar

It came out like this:

Cinnamon Pull-Apart Bread with Caramel Glaze

Baking, unfortunately, does not alleviate the stress of the Repubs screwing us, over and over, now with their new tax plan which is really another version of their healthcare plan, which basically reinforces the direction the Disunited States of America is going which is a plutocracy. I want to say f*^k all of them, but I tire of cursing.







I also made the most killer cinnamon buttercream.

Butter, sugar, egg whites, cinnamon

Honestly, that stuff is nearly sexual. A silky sweet meringue that takes butter and transforms into something that melts on the tip of your tongue, just a trace.

Alchemy.



I had my first paid gig at The Los Angeles Times on Saturday. Here's the link.


#gigeconomybaby

What I did with 16 eggs, 3 cups of sugar and various other ingredients, today

Buttermilk Cake with 

Lemon Curd Filling and 

Vanilla Buttercream Frosting

When I wasn't doing that, I was doing this:

Saturday selfie with Sophie

and listening to this:

Boys playing video games and fighting

During the cake clean-up, I literally begged The Brothers to take their sister out on a bike ride. I had been incredibly neglectful of Sophie all day. After yelling from the Video Den, formerly their bedroom Mom! It's pitch black outside! and me yelling back to Just do it! You'll be fine in the dark! Stay out of the street!, they did it. They took Sophie outside on the Duet bike and rode crazily up and down the street with her for twenty minutes. I boxed the cake, finished cleaning up and lay on my back on my bed with my eyes closed. The thought passed through my head that something horrific would happen to all of them, out there in the pitch black dark, on the street in Los Angeles, and that I would be blamed for being a negligent mother, but that thought was only for a second because they were back, pounding on the door, pushing the bike on through, Sophie's cheeks and hands chilled, my guilt assuaged.

Hula Hula

The Baker is very, very tired.

WARNING: This cake is not subtle.

Blue Velvet Cake with Vanilla Buttercream