Stay Tuned

I've quit my job at the Ultra-Orthodox Jewish girls' school. (Bless their hearts.)

I will be writing about my experiences there, and I will be wearing that exact ensemble you see above, freed at last from the "modest" clothing covering every inch of my offensive female skin.

Stay tuned.

Just Ten More Minutes

Here are 3 reasons I might consider relocating to China:

1.

Sophie had an unexpected seizure this morning, right before I fed her breakfast, and instead of waiting for her to fully recover, I acted impatient and shot a syringe of her medicine into her mouth which I believe went down the wrong hatch which precipitated a bout of coughing and gagging which necessitated me putting together the suction machine and suctioning her mouth for what seemed like a half an hour which necessitated a 911 text to my friend Sandra about my inability to do this. I believe I texted I can't do it and she replied What's happening? and I said life and she said, then you can. And it's all fucking impossible. And you can. I then listed a litany of complaints and wondered if I should go on or try some gratitude? Sandra texted back:

In a nutshell -- or should I say the nutshell, Sandra's advice is to take time and whatever horrors it's throwing at you in ten minute increments. Can I do it for ten more minutes? Another 10? Another 10? Until I get through another full hour...then day. Suffice it to say that the 10-minute increment rule worked for me today, and I managed to get Sophie to her day program, but I've said it before, and I'll say it again: I'm done, toast, burnt. Sandra sent me this, too:

Reader, I do love a good sign.

2.

I'm struggling financially despite a near full-time job and will soon have two sons in college. Will I ever get ahead? There's my actual head, I suppose, which is stuffed full of all kinds of lovely things, but if it weren't for my neck, it would have long since spun off into the cosmos. Is there such a thing as ahead? I love my job teaching English, but there's no work over the summer. I've put together a few writing workshops and am still baking cakes, but neither is a living. Sure, I'm grateful for the help given to me by my parents and by the State of California, but I feel shackled and can't help but fantasize about a simpler life -- something I imagine is as illusory as getting ahead.

Are you still here, dear Reader?

3.

We have a rat infestation in our attic. Yes. We have a rat infestation in our attic. One more time. We have a rat infestation in our attic. 

Did I ever tell you the story of the job I accepted to teach English in Taiwan upon graduating from college? I was obsessed with all things Chinese -- had studied the language for two years, read avidly the poetry and religion and history and was just gobsmacked by the possibilities. I was 21 years old with all of life in front of me. Alas, I was persuaded to give that up for -- let's say -- love, and while I don't regret the choice I made because it brought me the rest of my life, I have a chance here to -- well -- flee that rest of my life. Reader, do you wonder? Is she serious? Has she lost her mind? Was it a rat that drove her to it? 

Stay tuned. Just ten more minutes.

Seeking Position

Experienced freelance writer looking for work. Experience includes several ghost-written books of non-fiction, medical writing, healthcare writing, personal interest articles for The Los Angeles Times, marijuana.com, Spirituality and Health Magazine and contributions to gratefulness.org and OnBeing. Personal work published in numerous literary anthologies and journals. Micro-memoir published by Shebooks in 2015 and available for purchase online at Amazon for a ridiculously low price. Skills include editing, proof-reading and an uncanny ability to mine story from seemingly ordinary things and lives, and don't we need stories in order to live?

Website with CV and all relevant publications is here.


Salary negotiable.

Biking from Venice Beach to Santa Monica, Moonshine, Walter White and Looking for a Job

I actually rode my bike with Henry and D from Venice Beach to Santa Monica this afternoon. It was completely overcast when we started, as the summer beach often is, but after lunch and before we biked back to Venice, the sky had opened up to a glorious blue.

Outrageously tiny skaters were racing, jumping and otherwise defying death at this skate park.  It made me want to watch Lords of Dogtown again. Have ya'll seen that? Along with my desire to come back in another life as a surfer is the desire that I have a child who competes in the X Games. Don't tell Henry or Oliver that.

We jumped off our bikes somewhere along the way in Venice Beach, and Henry entertained us in feats of athletic skill. Even at 15 years old, though, he was no match for a guy who looked at least fifty, sported tattoo sleeves, a long ponytail, purple shorts with a spiked belt and was about as agile as a monkey.

I can't figure out how to upload this video properly, but that guy in the beige suit and fancy dress shirt walked up the boulevard screaming for the salvation of our souls. He carried a Bible and was seriously loud. Proselytizers are so interesting to me, and I often wonder how effective they are. As I sit here at my desk at 8:30 in the evening, the sprinklers hissing on, my legs sore and my feet still sandy, I hear his voice shouting Hallelujah, The Lord Jesus Will Save You! in my head, and I wonder what he's up to right this moment.

Ouch.

Tongva Park, Santa Monica

When I got home and Saint Mirtha had left, I lay on my bed with Sophie and read magazines.She slept and occasionally jerked in what I thought was a seizure -- many times -- but then decided was not. Sigh. I read an interesting article in MORE Magazine (for women over forty, ONLY) about a woman in Asheville, North Carolina who produces the best tasting moonshine in the country. Her company is called Troy and Sons. The story was fascinating and very inspiring as she is the mother to three sons, two of whom, now in their mid-twenties are severely disabled. Most of you out there in extreme parenting land know how difficult it is to have a job and take care of your child. Those of you not in extreme parenting land should know that many of us would have a job or wanted to have a job or a career but are unable to do so given the demands of extreme parenting. This is no argument between women who work and women who stay at home -- have I told you before how much I despise that discussion and find it so boring it makes me cry?

Anyhoo.

I'm currently looking for a job, as the big contract I had with a national organization is finished, and the other contract I have with an organization that helps children in foster care, doesn't have enough work for me. Did you even know that I actually have a job and have been working nearly thirty hours a week, off and on for over six years? I like to work, and I need to work -- both because it's stimulating and because I need the money. These jobs have been perfect because they're flexible and allow me to work, for the most part, from home. I get to do what I do best -- write and inspire and advocate for children with special healthcare needs. When Sophie isn't doing well, I can take care of her and stay at home. After reading that article about the woman who makes kick-ass moonshine, I felt inspired to get creative. I'm never going to support myself baking cakes, but there must be something I can spin my skills toward and make a living.

Wait, isn't that what Walter White thought when he broke bad?

I'm on the phone

There'll be scant blogging on a moon, worn as if it had been a shell over the next few days. I'm sitting at my desk, on very long conference calls, doing some bizness for the government. And, no, I'm not wire-tapping or eavesdropping or figuring out how to be a whistle-blower and gain sanctuary in Russia. I am in my pajamas, drinking coffee and trying to concentrate on Some Very Important Initiatives. During my down times, I might post some poetry, so please come back.

The Baker is Back

via Etsy

This morning I was up at 6:30 baking a cake. I've got two cake orders today, orders I took at the last minute because My Other Job has drawn to a close, and I need the work. I have a Blue Velvet Cake with Purple Frosting and a Luau Theme to make today and a Milk Chocolate Chocolate Cake tomorrow. I will, of course, post photos later.

If you know of anyone who needs to hire a baker, please let me know. I can also advocate for children with special healthcare needs, review grants, create caregiver manuals and train caregivers, write grants and pull my legs over my head.

Reader, what are you up to this weekend?