Monday, May 3, 2010

Nervous Breakdown

That's me there, with my head on the desk. Those papers? They're from insurance companies and Medi-Cal. The lady on the right is an angel in disguise -- my good friend Suzy C. who I spoke with on the telephone today and who had some pretty great words of wisdom.  As a fellow mother of a child with special needs, she gets it, and while willing to help me out in my time of need probably felt a tiny bit grateful that it wasn't her with her head on the desk -- this time.

Who is that? That's me, a little later in the afternoon. I was on the phone all day with LAUSD, my daughter's school and learned that her school year has been shortened and she WON"T be in school this summer after all. If you remember, she's been OUT of school for the past nine weeks and today was the first day she was supposed to go back. Instead of heading to yoga and the grocery store, though, I learned that her aide was furloughed today because of budget cuts so I kept her home. I also learned that school ends the third week of June and doesn't start back up until the middle of September.

I then dug the rose tinted glasses that I actually wore in eighth grade, when I was at the peak of adolescence, out of a box, donned the pink and white suit and the white gloves, my handy-dandy gun and ----

You figure out the rest.


  1. I am just so sorry to hear that. DANG. My heart goes out to you.

  2. As long as your a hot gun toting mamma.

    is there something good that could be in the mess of all of this. There must be a blessing in disguise here. Somewhere. Somehow.
    I wish I could help . I truly do and you know that.

  3. I was concerned when I saw the title and I'm angered at the insanity of these systems you're up against and the precious hours you're wasting.

    I don't know your school system, but if they laid off the aid, did they have a replacement in place to work with Sophie? I know a replacement is not what you want with a complex child who needs to be with someone they're familiar with -- but what was their "solution" as to how they were going to accommodate Sophie today? And what is the rationale for no summer school?

    Are there advocates there who can help you? Would you consider a media piece about how the school is failing your daughter?

    I totally got the second picture. You go girl! Hugs from Canada xo

  4. Can Ed Asner help?

  5. Oooh. So Pollyanna has left the building. And good riddance, that starry-eyed she-dog.
    Oh honey. You need real help. This breaks my heart. Quite seriously, it does.

  6. Elizabeth, I really wish I had words to ease your burden right now. If I were in L.A. I'd love to get to know you and Sophie and help you out. I spent three wonderful years working as a "patterner" of a precious little Elizabeth in our area. Her mother organized a group of women to do this and we all eagerly looked forward to our time with the child and her family. Is it at all possible to just have "friends" to be with Sophie and give you some much needed time away?


  7. Whadda country. I'm so sorry you have to go through this.

  8. Oh no! I know how much you were needing some quality quiet and alone time. I'm so sorry. I hope you know we're all pulling for you...

    I actually thought of you this morning as I brushed my teeth, wondering what you might do with a few spare hours of time. I'm so sorry it's not working out.

  9. not what i would hope for you.
    i feel suddenly so far away. when i want to walk into your morning and take your mermaid for a stroll...while you peel an orange. and eat each single slice as if you had an entire lifetime to take it all in.


  10. The photo from Women on the verge of a nervous breakdown is totally appropriate and you have my heart felt support, alas, I don't resort to violence but I do understand that when it comes to the insensitivity of people toward those in need.

    What can we do? Is there anything at all beside my writing my rage and indignation to the enlightened being who rules the kingdom of California and to remind Mr Muscles that his own late mother in law had a special place in her heart for children with disabilities and who campaigned tirelessly to grant to them the same rights as the rest of us have so he may take a hint from that about how are we supposed to do it?

    Post some addresses and phone numbers if you please. I have done little else today but firing emails and phone calls so I can dedicate my entire day tomorrow to do the same for Sophie. Just say the word and I will start writing.
    As Sandra said quoting Bill Moyer:
    "Hope is toxic if you hold onto it too long without action."

  11. Oh my.

    So sorry things are rocky right now. I just bought a card for a friend that said, "If you are going through hell, keep going."

    Thought that was good advice. There are sunny days ahead.

    And there's always chocolate.

  12. There really are no words. It sucks. My heart hurts for you.

  13. Sheesh. Well, at least you're handling everything just like I would.

  14. It's no surprise your feel murderous and suicidal or both. What a load to carry for all of you.

  15. ARE YOU SERIOUS!?!?!?!??! HOLY [expletive]!

    Can they really furlough her aide????? Really? What about the whole "free and appropriate education" thing?? And losing the entire summer???? What in the [expletive]!?!?

    In Illinois, the IEP is a legal binding document. So what ever is spelled out there must be followed. Isn't it the same in California? And isn't there some law out there on the minimum number of school days a child must attend???

    I know, I know. I'm sure you're dealing with this probably right now trying to work it out. Just know if you need to vent with me, I'm here.

    What a freaking crock!!!

  16. I could thing of a whole host of other jobs that could/should be furloughed (sp?) .... kids - and it seems special needs kids - are the very first to fall through the cracks - it's not right!

  17. Do you have a lawyer? An advocate? She has to qualify for ESY - they can't take it away! What was the agreement at the last IEP meeting? Look at your written notice at the last meeting.
    Ohmygoodness. The special educator is freaking out for you. This is wrong wrong wrong wrong wrong.

  18. Do you know why government's cut back on services to special needs children so eagerly? Because they know the parents of special needs children are too tired and beat down to kick their asses.

    Kick their asses anyway:)



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