Be Better

She's the reason I subjected myself to speaking in front of a room full of neurologists and a couple of friendly faces today -- or perhaps not the reason but rather the inspiration. The reason I spoke in front of a room full of neurologists today at the Epilepsy Summit in Manhattan Beach was to participate as a parent on a panel to discuss CBD, to share our particular story and to use my own voice and words to support all these families, all these people who are struggling with refractory seizures. Can I tell you that a roomful of neurologists is actually not something that intimidates me but rather challenges me to dig deep and not feel bias, to not have low expectations, to not sigh inwardly at the predictability of how they might respond. Equanimity is what I'm after, and it's taken nearly twenty years to touch its elusive borders. I go into these things conscious of my own bias and emotions, and I try to go in open -- wide open. And every time I do, I feel like an asshole afterward for the attempt. If I told you that those of us present who were NOT neurologists were patronized, condescended to, subtly mocked, mansplained and even bullied, what would you think? There was no discussion. I was very challenged today, and every single low expectation was met. Expletives come to mind, but like my mother always said, Don't stoop to their level. Be better.