I dropped Sophie off for the first day of her last year at school. I'd like to say that the years have flown by, but they haven't, and I felt choked up as I watched her aides wheel her inside. I don't know if it's sorrow or gratitude prickling at my throat, heavy. Am I weightless or weighed down, is the road straight or does it wind? Abide or endure?
I may lose at any moment through the play of circumstance over which I have no control, anything whatsoever I possess, including those things which are so intimately mine that I consider them as being myself.
Simone Weil
Lord. That's a hard mantra. And an emotional day.
ReplyDeleteThat will be me in a few weeks. What to do next year is our theme this year!!
ReplyDelete"I'd like to say that the years have flown by, but they haven't." I completely get that. I wish it could have been different. Thanks for putting it into words; I always thought I was the only parent who felt that way.
ReplyDeleteReading this choked me up.
ReplyDeleteSo sad, that this day which is usually joyous, should be loaded down with such grief. Something to do with what has been and what is to come. Those days that have not 'flown'.
ReplyDeleteA big day. Sending love.
ReplyDeleteOh, Elizabeth. We're with you. Right here.
ReplyDeleteAbide, endure, or... Explore, still. I love the mosaic of footprints in the desert in that last picture.
ReplyDeleteAnd then there are the friends' children of the same age....the ones shining so brightly in sports gear and prom dresses and college visitations. The peaks in our world are not so picturesque.
ReplyDeleteAnd then there are the friends' children of the same age....the ones shining so brightly in sports gear and prom dresses and college visitations. The peaks in our world are not so picturesque.
ReplyDeleteLove.
ReplyDeleteThings have changed for you so much in this last year, all the parts of you.
ReplyDeleteIt is very touching to see you walk through them, sometimes leaving heavy footprints, sometimes just skimming the sands. You are one good, brave woman.
A milestone. Everything is changing again. I love what liv said. Hugs.
ReplyDeleteBoth maybe? Ying/Yang?
ReplyDeleteI love that quote, now if I could only remember it and even more importantly live it:)
ReplyDeleteMaybe it's sorrow AND gratitude. Doesn't have to be an either/or, does it?
ReplyDelete