Thursday, January 8, 2009

More Yellow

Sophie is having some dark days. And I'm never sure whether to just trudge on in this blog, doing my writing, sparking the rest of it (because the blog is fertilizer) or let things lie low. Not complain, not notice, not reveal. In revealing, though, I can ask. I can ask the page, the universe, you, the reader, to think hard or think soft but think about Sophie and her energy and what she goes through day after day after day. I ask you to pray if you pray and meditate if you meditate and if you're not into any of that, then think a good thought for her.

Posted by Picasa

Last night my valiant babysitter and I had to work together to get Sophie out of the bathtub while she was seizing. It was simply awful, and when we finally got her to the floor and wrapped her in towels and then carried her back to her bedroom, even the babysitter started to cry. Have I told you how my babysitters help me to live? I would never even call them angels because that would trivialize what they do for Sophie and for me and my husband and my boys. Their devotion to Sophie gives me hope, hope that the world is a good and beautiful place that can afford such mercy and hope that Sophie's place in it is powerful.

You might not know who Sophie is, other than a girl who has refractory epilepsy. But you can read about her here, and I will remind you that she is beautiful, has curly hair and a fleeting smile. Her hands are ethereal and light and she reaches to touch your face if she loves you and turns her back if she doesn't. She loves music and swings and trees and being outdoors. She sits cross-legged like a yogi and hums.

Today, we lay under the yellow tree in the front yard and looked up through the web of leaves. The ground was cool and damp but covered in yellow, too.

After taking some pictures, we left for the dentist. When the hygienist opened Sophie's mouth to clean her teeth, we saw a long yellow, serrated leaf lying on her tongue, a stripe of mellow fire.

How wonderful yellow is. It stands for the sun. -Vincent Van Gogh


  1. I'm not a person who prays, but that thing I do that is the closest to prayer, I will do for Sophie. Since the first day I visited here, her face has been with me. Although I've never met her, she is very real to me and I think about her and you every day.

  2. Your writing moves me so much and it makes me wish I could do more than send you positive thoughts. If that is all I can do expect a tidal wave of good energy from the East to the West coast coming your way.

  3. Lisa, your support and comments are wonderful -- thank you.
    Joyce, it means so much to me that you are thinking about us --

  4. so beautifully said, poignant and piercing.

    i will pray. i am praying now. and sending thoughts and images of more yellow, encircling, soothing, calming.

  5. Since entering your blogisphere, you and Sophie (and even the boys) are never far from my heart. Mornings especially, for some reason.
    You have my prayers, as always.

  6. Elizabeth, I think of you and Sophie and your family every day. This is the magic of blogging. The magic of writing and of sharing our stories.
    I send my love, drifting to you like snowflakes, from the cold, cold North.

  7. The picture of the two of you is amazing: it's like art photography and says so much. I think of both of your every day, and you know I send you good thoughts. When I read about Sophie and see your photos of her, she always strikes me as a deeply spiritual being, a bodhisattva.

  8. This has moved me so much. Your daughter is beautiful. Of course I will think a good thought for her, and for you.
    Anna xxx

  9. Beautiful final image of that leaf. Thats a special moment to hold onto. It's sounds like that was Sophie's plan too.

    (thanks for visiting my blog)

  10. i shouldn't start my day reading your blog anymore (but i will), as i am always moved to tears. your daily journey as a mother is more full and complicated than anyone else's i know, and i don't know how you continue to do it with such grace and diginity. thank you for sharing your life. xoxo noelle



Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...