Saturday, September 21, 2013

Boy Conversation #2,368,921

There's a constant war going on in the car between The Power That Is (that would be myself, The Driver) and the Big O. It involves the radio. I prefer KCRW -- both the talk part and the music. The Big O prefers KISS FM which plays the same three or four songs over and over, although sometimes he'll switch to the station that plays fairly decent "old" rock and roll or another pop station that plays one or two songs over and over in between commercials. This morning, I managed to keep The Big O from twiddling with the dial because of an enthralling episode of This American Life, a story that recounted the discovery of pork bung masquerading as calamari. Pork, what? The Big O asked, incredulous? Bung, I said, evidently a slang term for rectum. He still looked confused. I stared straight ahead and said, you know, butt. For once, the Big O was quiet and listened avidly. He didn't touch the dial. When it was over, he shook his head and said that can't be true. That's just stupid.

Later, as we waited in the drive through line at In 'N Out, he switched the station from KCRW to KISS FM which was playing the song of that guy, according to The Big O, that Miley Cyrus had twerked to. I pretended to not know what twerking was, mainly to see if he really knew (which he did), and then I asked him what he thought about that whole incident and he replied the following, quite priceless answer.

Mom, you know it was MILEY CYRUS? You know her, right? First she was Hannah Montana? Then she started singing? Then she got old? Now she's twerking? 

He shook his head. I felt compelled to tie together pork bung, bad pop music, the perils of old age and twerking, but I refrained and shook my head. That can't be true, I said, that's just stupid. Oliver turned that guy off so we could roll down our window and order our lunch.


  1. Oh lord this gave me the mad giggles. Oliver got it on a dime I'm thinking. By the way the Radio War never stopped in my car or my son's.

  2. I love your relationship with The O, the way you two talk and how you let him be who he is. It's very special and he will look back and value it deeply. (Also I enjoyed your comment you left about the No Parking zone. It was that exactly!)

  3. That was awesome. I love that you have the skills to put stories like that into words.

    Best invention ever for tormenting your children is the steering wheel controls for the radio. May daughter is 19 and has had the privelege of 10+ years of me turning the volume down (or up) or changing the radio on her. Immature, but sometimes you have to meet them in the middle. I guarantee she will be doing this same thing to her children and will revel in it.

  4. If I never hear the word "twerking" again it will be too soon!

  5. We are engaged in the same exact war, with the slight escalation that Lola doesn't like either the NPR station I prefer OR the songs that Eve lands on in her frantic search for some popular music. I can't wait until they dash out of the car at school so I can switch it back, most mornings. I'm sorry I missed the pork bung American Life! Now I'll have to go searching for it...



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