Thursday, October 24, 2013



2. FitFlops with Swarovski Crystals

3. Tea Party Lady Patriots

My sisters, whom I almost never write about, are two of the funniest people on the planet. Just yesterday, one of them texted me with a question regarding my memory of a mouse playground that she had gotten one Christmas in the 1960s. When I told her that I only vaguely remembered it, she sent me a photo, and it all came back to me. Then she told me that she'd found a vintage one and bought it and was beside herself with excitement. It was a bargain! she told me, It comes with all the mice! I totally got it and admit to being a little envious about that mouse playground. We exchanged a few more texts about the merry-go-round piece that closely resembled the one on our elementary school playground in New Jersey, and my sister added that she was super excited about the extra slide that she still has from the sixties to add to the playground when it comes in the mail. Like I said, I get it.

The other sister and I like to take photos of outlandish things or make comments about certain style choices that we might see, randomly, on the streets of Los Angeles or Washington, D.C. My text might read: 

Denim high-waisted short shorts. Why? 

She might immediately text back:

God! With a belt, right?

Her text to me this afternoon was the photo above of Martha Stewart in full Halloween regalia with the word Why?

I texted back that I loved her so much. My sister that is, not Fairy GrandMartha.

Reader, ask yourself why? Cleverest answers to the why of the above photos get a lifetime supply of cupcakes or a snapshot of the mouse playground or -- better yet -- some high-waisted denim shorts. With a belt.


  1. Why? ... Because she can, and it's her magazine!
    BTW, I didn't even recognize her without the sloppy one-eye hair sweep. And can we say she's had some work done? I know, I shouldn't criticize, but somehow I really want to right now. Maybe because I can't stand Halloween....

    1. Did you notice that she's calling herself the Fairy GrandMartha?

  2. Not clever at all but:
    1. Because she got to be made up and photo shopped to look twenty-seven and who wouldn't want that?
    2. I would so wear these. Stand back. They are mine. That's why.
    3. Because they had their brains sucked out in a Christian cult ritual. Just look at their faces. And those hairdos, obviously created to hide the scars.
    4. Don't send me a belt. Thank you.

    1. OK, now that Ms. Moon admitted to liking those sandals, I'll come clean and join in!

    2. Your reply to picture three is priceless. I think that's exactly what's happened here!

  3. 1 Martha ia bored.
    2 I really like these shoes too.
    3. Anorexia sometimes makes you very pale and your thinking isn't right.

    1 yr of cupcakes made by you? Yes

  4. I saw Martha on TV where she told us it took 3 hours for her to get made up like Fairy GrandMartha. Why??

  5. I don't know why but put my name in the hat for the cupcakes.


  6. I don't know who you people are that like a flip flop with genuine Swarovski crystals, but you're clearly not related to me!

  7. Martha, what, no more worlds to conquer, sanitize, dominate, infect with inferiority complex and perfectionist culture? You have to invade HALLOWEEN?
    Fitflops are SUPER comfortable. Swarovskis? Not sure.
    Tea Party Women? No idea.

  8. I never before realized that Martha is one of the Gabor sisters. It's certainly clear to me now.

    As for the capitalists, I immediately looked up "" thinking it might be some kind of Christian cult site, in accordance with Ms. Moon's comment above -- but no, it's just a stock photo agency, which is sadly disappointing.

  9. Because Martha is the anti-crone, poor crystal encrusted thing. Suz Anon

  10. Suz again. I wish I didn't have to be Anonymous, but re: 'prove you are not a robot', I'm a robot. Why do they make the word to type in all tilty with extraterrestrials in between the letters? And not like a real word? And the number in the next box is all smoky and vague? And I can't remember the names of my grandchildren so of course forget which profile I'm supposed to use!

  11. Why? Because FairyGodMartha and high-waisted, belted young hipsters don't have to be worried about their fashion-forward outfits being covered in pooh. And, I guess for those ladies who have way too much time on their hands and no other cause worthy of living and dying for :)

  12. Francesca Smithwick-DriverOctober 25, 2013 at 9:21 AM

    I have two answers..."What about my needs?" - it's the answer I'd get from my mother when I asked her WHY she wore something that looked soooooo stupid (as in a 4 foot wide brimmed hat to the beach), WHY she cooked something I hated (finnan haddie), or played Sergio Mendes albums all the time (only now do I appreciate him). But here I'll quote Sly and the Family Stone "Different strokes for different folks." That's why.

  13. Why? Because she's Martha Stewart.

  14. Give Suz the cupcakes and Ms Moon the denim cutoffs and Steve a few crystals for his flops. Why?? Got me. Great stuff.

  15. I can't believe that cover! I love it that in your country you can be (well) over 10 years of age, and still wear a pink fairy dress, and be credible! Last week (or was it the one before?), Martha caused quite a commotion in blogland when she mentioned the amateurish background and approach of many crafting and cook bloggers ("who are these bloggers?" is the offending phrase that was quoted everywhere). I'm amused, because the first time I heard of her, was when the NYer ran a feature, detailing her legal issues, and a few years later, there she is, reinvented as the business queen of all craft and cook ideas! So, yes she can.



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