Tuesday, February 6, 2018


Pacific Ocean

Sometimes, when the suffering is great, I call on the names of those who've helped me (us) most. Names come to mind and lips in a stream Carrie Anna Stephanie Bonni Cindy Allison Mary Dr. Frymann Jody Sandra and on and on and more.

I think help is on the way.

Pema Chodron this morning after seizures and tears and Mary cards.

In the process of discovering bodhichitta, the journey goes down, not up. It's as if the mountain pointed toward the center of the earth instead of reaching into the sky, instead of transcending the suffering of all creatures, we move toward the turbulence and doubt. We jump into it. We slide into it. We tiptoe into it. We move toward it however we can. We explore the reality and unpredictability  of insecurity and pain, and we try not to push it away. If it takes years, if it takes lifetimes, we let it be as it is. At our own pace, without speed or aggression, we move down and down and down. With us move millions of others, our companions in awakening from fear. At the bottom we discover water, the healing water of bodhichitta. Right down there in the thick of things, we discover the love that will not die.


  1. I see you at the bottom of that crater. I see you and I love you.

  2. Sorry this day is hard. I’m here, loving you and yours.

  3. I had a neighbor, growing up, who used to say, "Honey, she is reaching up to touch bottom."
    Yeah. Like that.
    You are loved.

  4. Yes. You and Sophie are loved. Love will not die.

  5. Perfect words from Pema. I read this, today, and thought it might have a nugget for you: "Walk fearlessly into the house of mourning. For grief is just love squaring up to its oldest enemy, and after all these mortal human years love is up to the challenge." KATE BRAESTRUP
    I'm so glad the Mary cards offer encouragement. Mary is the real MVP.

  6. I am so sorry you and Sophie are weathering bad seizures again.I know their awful impact doesn't diminish an iota over time. Each fresh one is a stab to the heart.

  7. It's a rarity, that smooth ocean in this beautiful photo. It conveys healing and peace and love. I hope that is what comes to you today.

  8. “We thrash around in it” I might add, as the chills cascade. Love this quote. I get it. Forever grateful for Buddhism for naming it, holding space and empathizing while we struggle to accept the unacceptable. It’s all too much and I wouldn’t be standing if it wasn’t for YOU and SOPHIE. Love you so so much xo

  9. Sending a hand, a shoulder to lean on. Blessings to you and Sophie.



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