Tuesday, May 20, 2014

Peonies and Benzos



Yeah, I know. Those peonies.

I was all Wallace Stevensy the world is ugly and the people are sad and then I walked into the dining room and saw them. There aren't even words to describe such a sight.

Thank you for your kind words and emails in response to my last post. I did a lot of digging around on the interwebs last night and read a whole lot more about benzodiazepine withdrawal. There wasn't much that I didn't already know, and what I knew was that it's all fucked up. It's insane that these drugs are used at all -- and I mean at ALL, and I know there are a lot of people out there who think a little bit of a benzo can nip anxiety right in the bud. Smoke some pot, people, find another class of prescription mind-numbers, in lieu of popping the benzos.  And when people worry about the amount of THC in marijuana, about not wanting children to get high (as opposed to the real concern that THC at certain levels can exacerbate seizures), or when physicians worry about the long-term cognitive effects of marijuana on the brain -- holy shit. Take a look at what the benzos do and the level of suffering people -- children -- experience when you take them off.

I'm assuming that Sophie is going to have really bad days, off and on, for maybe even more than a year. I'm going to have to push through my rage about this SIT U A SEE OWN, but it's going to be difficult to not constantly compare the clusterf**kery of the current mindset in epileptology to what's been going on with the approved AEDs for all these years. I'm going to keep on banging on my drum, too, until the media takes it upon itself to do some kind of story on what the alternative to medical marijuana has been like for many kids. Like mine. And yours.

Humor my rants for the time being or shut me up with peonies.


13 comments:

  1. Rant away. So understandable.Those peonies are outrageous.

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  2. I have no desire to shut you up. Rant away! It's needed.

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  3. Dear woman, you inspire me.

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  4. It's crazy there's not some sort of medical weaning they can do, like an inpatient situation where they could medically wean her. Does that even make sense? Maybe I watch too much Grey's. Love you.

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  5. I read your earlier post today and felt sick about the benzos we tried with my guy for anxiety that developed due to loneliness. our epileptologists would never prescribe benzos to treat complex partial seizures because of addiction and pain of coming off the drugs. Thank you for writing about it. pale pink peonies are my favorite too. hope Sophie feels better soon -j

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  6. Do rant. You make a difference on so many levels. I was put on a "milder" benzo, clonazepam, for bad anxiety. My heart can't tolerate any of the other choices. I'm afraid my heart will not tolerate my desire to wean. I haven't talked to my cardiologist about it yet. I'm on a very low dosage but I'm still afraid. Great, take one anxiety-driven woman with a damaged heart and put her on something that scares her. Can't smoke a damn thing and high THC is bad for my heart. Ingesting CBDs might actually help me, but my cardio doc will have to be persuaded. He didn't want me on the clonazepam to begin with but deferred to another doc. And me, I thought it would be okay. I think you are totally amazing and brave to have come this far. Love to you and your family.

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  7. I'm all ears for your words. All eyes for those flowers.

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  8. I knew a woman who was weaning off benzos one tiny point whatever mg at a time. She was in hell.
    I am so grateful that I had a few when I needed them and can take a different drug which does not have nearly the side effects to make me not need them.
    I wish I could deliver flowers to your door every day. Whatever it would take to make your soul sing a little bit in the midst of it all.

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  9. So sorry. It's awful. Lord, have mercy. Seriously.

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  10. @rainshadowfarm: I hope you come back here to read this (couldn't find an email on your blog) There are many homeopathic remedies that address anxiety and they won't hurt your heart or any other part of you. I am familiar with chronic anxiety, believe me, or was...not a problem anymore. Also, depending on your age, as an "older" woman now 53, I find that a good herbal adrenal supplement coupled with Evening Primrose oil and a meno herbal combo to chase away all sorts of problems...with no negative side effects. I wish you well.

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  11. In complete agreement w/ the benzo "rant". In my Psych NP program we were taught NEVER to prescribe a benzo for anxiety unless there were no other reasonable alternatives and suffering was very great... If this was the case, Benzos were to be given
    at a very small dose for a period of 2 to 3 weeks... tops until an SSRI had time to kick in. Even under these circumstances, it was very much frowned upon. In other words, try anything but a Benzo.

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  12. I so value everything you write. Thank you so much for being at the front lines for those of us who are still bringing up the rear.

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  13. You speak for Sophie - and many other children in that same labyrinth. Your voice is as brilliant and big as a peony in May.

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