Tuesday, November 11, 2014

The Pee Pocket and Its Relevance to My Blog and An Exit Off The 405

Not a day goes by that I don't get some kind of marketing query from some misguided person or company who thinks my blog is somehow influential enough to warrant me posting about the object or invention or service they have to sell. I'm not influential enough, apparently, to convince neurologists to stop prevaricating about the effect of cannabis on refractory epilepsy, but damn if this might be the place to make THE PEE POCKET  best-seller. In the query email, I was told that THE PEE POCKET is geared toward athletes, travelers, the elderly, parents of young girls, pregnancy and -- oh, yeah, here's why they found me in the search engine -- the disabled.

Here's a picture of THE PEE POCKET:

You can use it while you're standing up ya'll! Seriously, if this product excites you, go on over to the site and learn more.  I was almost tempted to show it to The Brothers before I came to my senses, but it did make me remember all the times I drove back and forth from Los Angeles to San Diego with Baby Sophie in the back of a rental car to visit the osteopath. That was in the waning days of the last millenium when I lived in New York City but did these six-week stays in southern California by myself with the baby -- sometimes in a motel, sometimes with friends or relatives. I actually drove the highways by myself with Sophie in the back seat, at night! We had no phones, then, ya'll! No GPS! Sophie was a sickly thing back then and even when a toddler couldn't walk or do much of anything. She was so drugged up and irritable that she also never slept (neither did I), even in the car (neither did I). When I had to go to the bathroom, I had to carry her in with me, and one time I had an overwhelming urge to pee and pulled off the highway on some dark, godforsaken exit where I quickly realized that I wouldn't make it to the bathroom by the time I unbuckled the sleeping (finally!) child from the carseat, made my way to the bathroom, unzipped my own fly, pulled down my jeans -- well, you know the drill -- not to mention the pitch dark, the flickering flourescents, the whole south LA scene at a dark highway exit. How I could have used THE PEE POCKET in that moment! Instead, I grabbed Sophie's bottle, dumped out the contents, which was probably the nasty, thick ketogenic formula we were trying at the time, and proceeded to pee right inside of it. I'm not going to tell you how it all turned out, because this is not that kind of blog. Suffice it to say that I tossed it out the window into a metal garbage can and scratched off in my Focus and back onto The 405.

Whew. Like I said the other day, Cast my memory back there, Lord. Sometimes I'm overcome.


  1. Yep...been stuck on the highway in desperation. I own a "pee bag" and a pStyle (which allows one to stand up and pee, and not have to take down the pants...even has a YouTube video!!) brought to me by my secret admirer who is practical in such matters. However, my new favourite crazy thing is this one...nothing to do with pee...http://productsofdesign.sva.edu/nutshell-eden-lew/

  2. Remember that astronaut who drove cross-country wearing adult diapers in order to confront the man with whom she was having an apparently rather tumultuous and/or scandalous relationship? I don't remember the details...but maybe she could have used a pee pocket! (And I am not mocking you or making fun of your urgency. We've all been there!)

  3. Oh my LORD! I am torn between "Wow, is that thing a joke?" And "Wow, that thing would have seriously come in handy for me many, many times." Dragging a baby, 2 year old, three year old and 12 year old CB into a rest stop in the interstate far too many times left me trying to conjure all sorts of unique methods for peeing right in the security of my own car! Once, I actually peed ON the little plastic portable potty thing I had in the car for the kids when they were toddlers. I almost overflowed that sucker... and probably almost broke it with my big ole tush. Good times, good times.

    But, is it just me or does that Pee Pocket look like it's made of paper? So weird.

  4. Claire's link was something I will either never forget or block immediately from my consciousness.
    The pee pocket reminds me of David Sedaris's wonderful essay on the Stadium Pal.
    Thanks Pee Pocket!
    And yes, we have all been there.

  5. I too have peed in the car. Once in a water bottle, once a McDonalds cup. This pee pocket sounds almost as useful as a wine bra.

  6. Like Ms. Moon, I was immediately reminded of the Stadium Pal. A most hilarious piece of writing.

    I honest to Gawd don't know how you managed all of that, on your own with baby Sophie. You are one amazing warrior woman. They would have had to place me in a psych hospital....I got no endurance, I tell ya.

  7. that's funny. it reminds me of a retooled fast-food container haha— it could double as a bath toy i think, a little boat-shoe

  8. You know those cups they use for playing Beer Pong? On a road trip or a camping emergency - for example, if you don't want to leave your tent at night - those cups are perfect peepockets. (This endorsement is brought to you by one who has product-tested, and knows whereof she speaks.)

  9. I'm sure we've all been there...guys have it a bit easier on this front. I once had to find a wooded area, only to realize as I stood up to walk back to the car that I gave a show to the people above the road out on their deck. Well, hello there...enjoying your paper and coffee along with the view of me frantically pulling my pants down to wee in your yard this beautiful morning?

  10. I am still laughing at the product in Claire's suggested link too. Omg. That is how I felt earlier today and needed my isolation shell. Okay... back to the Pee Pocket. I think we all need them just for some of the disgusting public bathrooms we encounter!!! Hysterical... I need to put them in my glove compartment. My two daughters will love them too. Loved this post. Thanks for making my night.



Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...