Tuesday, February 11, 2014

Snappy Answers to Stupid Questions, Part One

one of my favorite childhood/teenage books

On Sophie's hair, throughout her life, but particularly when she was a baby:

Is her hair naturally curly?

No, we perm it regularly.

On an explanation that Sophie's "problems" were due to epilepsy:

Can't they give her something for that?

You know, we hadn't thought to consult a doctor. Maybe we will!

How do you do it? I never could!

Hmmm. When it gets really bad, I mainline heroin. Otherwise, I guess I'd just lie on the floor and do nothing.


  1. Haha! Awesome!
    People are endlessly ignorant, aren't they?

  2. My favorite is the natural curly one! Elizabeth! Woman you are awesome. Reminds me of the person who said to my dad, "Oh! You used to be Deanna's dad, right?"

  3. I've got hair much like Sophie's. (Well, except that now it's got some gray in it.) I've gotten the "Is that a permanent?" question all my life. I typically answer "Very."

  4. I was reading Lady Lazurus last night, and when I came to the line about the peanut-crunching crowd, I remembered something you had said in a recent post, and wondered if you were alluding to Sylvia Plath. Either way, fuck these peanut crunchers.



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