Today was Sophie's second to last day of twelfth grade for the third year in a row. Oliver and I brought party sandwiches and chips to celebrate. I imagine those of you who don't have children with differences might get a little nervous around a bunch of adults that are not the yoozsh. They talk in different tones, if they talk at all. They might screech hello! twenty times in a row when they see you. They might bump into things around you, including you. They ask the same questions over and over. Sara pulled out her cell phone and showed me a picture of Sophie and herself from about ten years ago.I'm not kidding you. Sara has Down Sydrome and the biggest smile you've ever seen. She also showed me a photo of one of her fourteen nieces and nephews. Sara is Orthodox and has a lot of brothers and sisters. I told her to say hello to her mother whom I haven't seen in years, and Sara beamed at me.
I don't visit Sophie's class that much anymore. I trust that the life she has there is a good one and that she is well taken care of by her spectacular aide and wonderful teacher. Many of the classmates have been in school together since they were five years old. Many of them know Oliver and look forward to seeing him a few times a year.
I'm biased, of course, but Oliver rocks.
The kids in Sophie's class are not scary. They are not to be pitied, nor are they placecards for your gratitude. None of that there but for the grace of God go I bullshit. It's not hard to reach out and recognize them as fully formed human beings with the exact same rights to live on the planet as you. Try it.
Otherwise, I might have to feel sorry for you and think, there but for the grace of God go I.
Yesterday was a midwifery conference and there was a presentation on (gasp) cannabis as it is actually legal here in Washington. I can't say I learned very much because the research is spotty on pregnancy/lactation and weed.
ReplyDeleteI thought of you and Sophie the whole time.
XXX Beth
Without a doubt, Oliver rocks! I love the photos of your children here. How elegantly serene and classically beautiful Sophie's profile is. And what a radiant moment of connection you caught in the photo of Oliver and Sophie's classmate. You know, I was contemplating that phrase "there but for the grace of God" the other night (you know why) and I felt so offended by it. I thought: is it saying the other person has been passed over by God's grace? What a horrible, smug, entitled idea. I adore the word penultimate.
ReplyDeleteI couldn't say it better than Angella. And GODDAMN! I've never thought of that phrase "there but for the grace of god" in just that way. Yeah. Random god stuff. Love your babies. Love you.
ReplyDeleteWhat a milestone! I hope that the final day is lovely. It sounds like your reflection on her time in this special place is gratifying and I'm willing to bet Oliver has gotten a lot out of it, too. Love to you all.
ReplyDeleteYou crack me up (your last line). Your kids are beautiful and Oliver rocks and your description of what it's like to be among Sophie's classmates is so vivid that I want to be there. Big hugs all around.
ReplyDeleteI know that we all agree that Oliver rocks. No bias there.
ReplyDeleteWhen I was in high school, I found the most comfortable, accepting place was volunteering with the special needs class. Funny how that worked out, isn't it? Happy summer to you all!
ReplyDeleteIndeed. I recently watched a Ted Talk by an Australian woman (of course I forget the name of the Ted Talk and the woman). She is in a wheelchair. She talks about inspiration porn and how really, she doesn't want to be anyone's inspiration. Indeed. I hadn't thought of the grace of god expression in quite that way either. Are you going to blog about Caitlyn Jenner at all? It has been overdone I realize, sickeningly so. And really, Jenner seems to think being a woman is all in the clothes, makeup and massive amounts of airbrushing. I think you'd have an interesting and intelligent perspective to add to the overdone mix. I've been talking and Facebooking up your blog so you may have a few more Canadian readers.
ReplyDelete- Karen
Ah, our children get older and we have to let them live their lives. My son graduated a year ago last month and since I made him leave for not wanting to work I have barely spoken a word to him. It is hard letting our children go but also kind of nice.
ReplyDeleteAnd yes, fuck for the grace of god bullshit.
I love that boy. We'll and of course I love Sophie. And I love you too.
ReplyDeleteI love that boy. We'll and of course I love Sophie. And I love you too.
ReplyDeleteI love that boy. We'll and of course I love Sophie. And I love you too.
ReplyDeleteThis beautiful. Thank you.
ReplyDelete