Friday, February 7, 2014

When I Don't Love Los Angeles



I was just drinking some coffee (it was bitter) and eating an English muffin with egg white and turkey bacon (it was kind of gross, really), waiting for my morning movie to start (you'll get the three-line review tomorrow) when the woman pictured above walked in. She was Swedish, and she wasn't young. I'm not sure whether she was a Sikh practicing Kundalini yoga, getting ready to jazzercise or was just out for a cup of coffee on a Friday morning in Los Angeles, but this is the sort of stuff that makes me not enjoy the life here. I simultaneously feel superior and intensely inferior. I think Why? when I look at her, head to toe, and then I think God. I wish I were a thin, tall blonde Swedish woman with a smile on my face. I feel old this afternoon, bitter like my coffee and missing New York City where my dark hair, black tee-shirt and careworn visage might be appreciated. Better yet, I bet I'd be a goddess in Cosenza, my ancestral home in southern Italy.

Reader, what's happening in your parts (not pants)?

21 comments:

  1. I like that you put a heart over her face. That's sweet. And yes, LA can just pull it out of you sometimes. Currently trying to tell myself that finishing an outline and ten pages of a screenplay, submitting for a competition and finishing a short film are reasons to relax this week and I can feel like I accomplished something. I'm getting as far as "I really should have vacuumed."

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  2. Uh. Having martinis with my husband discussing my need to take yoga, our plans to build a house to retire in, maybe going to see a movie together tomorrow (Dallas Buyers Club which I have already seen but I want to see with him because it moved me so much and I would like to share it with him.) Like that.
    And I'm wearing overalls.
    And about to go put together a supper of clam spaghetti and tomato and avocado salad and wishing I was thin and tall.

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  3. You are a goddess of your own variety. Don't you think Swedes sometimes long for doe eyes and dark hair?

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  4. That is some enormous drink she's toting! And I swear, no matter where you live (or happen to be), comparisons are the devil's work. You are appreciated for so much more than your attire. Can't wait to hear the review.

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  5. You, my dear, belong everywhere. You have that particular intense yet mischievous kind of beauty that draws the eye and the curiosity too.

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  6. I could never be bothered to put that much effort into dressing. I'm too lazy. Right now I'm sitting in pyjamas and housecoat, waiting for my spring rolls to heat up in the oven. I have grey hair that I'm too lazy to dye and it's short because I'm too lazy to grow it out or bother with it everyday. I've never had a manicure or a pedicure. And I don't wear makeup. I like getting older because I care less and less what others think. It's liberating.

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  7. Let's just say I need a shampoo, and that my thrift store cashmere has cat hair on it, and that we're having frozen pizza and salad for dinner.

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  8. You would be a goddess in Cosenza! Yours is the sort of face that cries out to be painted.

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  9. She looks cold. Is it cold there? I thought California was warm right now. But if she's Swedish maybe she's always cold.

    It snowed about 6" here. I have the furnace on so high I'm sweating and I'm watching the Kate Atkinson mystery "Case Histories" on PBS starring Jason Issacs - yuuuummmm. Well, maybe Jason Issacs is making me sweat a little.

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  10. The first thing that popped in my head is that this woman obviously doesn't take care of children. The outfit is cute, but I would never make it out the door without my three-year-old's hand print on my bum.

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  11. This is how I felt when I first came to Ca, like I was on some movie set. Where were all the normal looking people?
    I gave notice at my job today and I feel like I'm breathing better and I'm going to give those ugly pants and shirt I had to wear to the Goodwill.
    You are way more beautiful than any skinny latte drinking Swedish kundalini yogi heart face girl. Church yo.

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  12. Since this woman has many layers of clothing, and is covered from head to toe, I suspect she is hiding a lot of ugliness and pain. It is sad, really. Far more interesting to find folks like you with “inside” energy, that burns like the sun. It doesn’t matter what you wear since the shine is clearly discernable to those who can see it, a spiritual test so to speak. I like to look through crowds of people to see if I can find “the shine”

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  13. I rarely leave the house, have been wearing the same clothes each week without changing the style for around 7 years now. In fact, some of my shirts are starting to get worn around the edges but I just don't feel like buying new ones. Two have holes in the elbows. Fuck it. Where do I go where it matters? I often only shave my head and face maybe once a week, not really because I'm lazy, but again...I hardly go out and Bennett tends to like the stimming of touching the stubble.

    We did start a couple weeks back eating Vegan/Plant Strong with a vengeance again. Just because we felt like total shit. I think we care FAR more about the inside that the outside. Oh, and it's been so cold and wintry in Central Ohio my skin is kind of like The Lizard from Spider-Man but I just stopped wasting money on lotion. I want to be nice and wrinkly like Clint Eastwood. Go ahead...make my day...

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  14. Oh...and that photo...it really looks like it was taken in NYC. Is it that cold in LA right now?

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  15. You would be right at home in Seattle

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  16. You'd be a goddess here too. I'd love to see you being a goddess in your ancestral home. Say, the lady with the heart for a face, does she have a big coffee stain on her jacket? Since I no longer live in LA but in a place that many in LA and in the Bay Area make fun of, I tend to find myself amused by scenes like this. I'm training up a tribe of young people who are likewise amused. I don't really laugh at the woman, that's unkind, but the Snow Queen, really?

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  17. I actually think it's beautiful: she's taken a bit of care and time, maybe lifted herself out of some personal doldrums. It's a bit silly, but I orchestrate my outfits the night before and lay them out -- down to earrings, bracelet, shoes and lipstick color. It gives me a sense of control in a pretty uncontrollable world. Maybe she's done this, right down to her flower.

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  18. LH mercy. I agree with your assessment of NYC vs. LA. I've been in both cities recently, and I do feel like NYC would allow me to walk around naked, and nobody would really care.

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  19. Even with her face covered, she looks annoying.

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  20. She makes me cranky, even with her face covered, but I take solace in the fact that I'm sure she was over-warm and slightly sweaty beneath all those layers. Also that the immense amount of resulting laundry & dry cleaning from all those layers, all that whiteness, and the slight sweatiness is just bad karma (water waste! chemicals!) and I'm sure she's miserable in a million different ways that I am not.

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