Saturday, April 18, 2009

I Have a Confession


or more things to post in lieu of bringing you up to date with Sophie.

Ahem.

I was pulled over to day by a Los Angeles City Cop on a motorcycle. I was yakking on the cell phone with my sister -- something I rarely do anymore and not because I don't want to get a ticket. I agree that cell-phone-talking folks are a menace, and in Los Angeles they seem particularly so.

But I was trying to explain the whole new story about Sophie to my sister, and the Bluetooth that is built into my Mazda just doesn't do the trick. I have to sort of shout and half the time the person on the receiving end can't even hear me. Enough excuses for my bad. Anyway, I looked up and saw him driving toward me and he looked right in my eyes and I simultaneously tossed the phone on the seat and unrolled my window and opened my mouth and he said, before me, "You threw it down when you saw me." And I smiled, sheepishly, and sighed and then I pulled over and waited for him to get off the cycle and come over to my window. And here's the shame:

I said, "I'm so sorry Officer but I was talking to my babysitter who is watching my daughter. She has a seizure disorder and I really had to talk to her."

I know you're CRINGING now, and so am I. But it gets worse.

He said, "You know, I have an autistic son." AHHHHHHH!!!!!

I said, "Wow. How old is he?"

He said, "Seven. Let me see your license and your registration and your insurance card."

So I fumbled through the dash and pulled them out and gave them to him. While he went to check my record, the cell phone rang, and it was my sister. I told her that I'd just been pulled and since the last time I'd spoken with her I had been in the middle of telling her about our new woes, she said, "Oh, my God" with just the right amount of irony and incredulity.

Then the cop came back.

"I'm going to let you off," he said. "But drive safely." And he walked away as I rolled up the window.

And guess where I was headed?

The Catholic gift store to buy some First Communion gifts for Oliver who is making the sacrament next week.

Oy vey or should I say Jesus Christ.

My penance was a fresh bout of tears that came in between some giggles, all by myself and loony in my car.

And I will tell you what's up with The Girl, just not now.

11 comments:

  1. every once and a while, you get the good karma you deserve.

    ReplyDelete
  2. I haven't slept all night again...my god you make me laugh!! Thanks for that!

    ReplyDelete
  3. Nothing like good ol' fashioned Catholic guilt. By the way, I LOVE how you tossed the phone on the passenger seat.

    ReplyDelete
  4. There are times I feel that I have to be twice as good as everyone else in order to "deserve" empathy for Robert's needs. Every once in a while, you just have to let it go!

    ReplyDelete
  5. OMG! What if he reads your blog?!? That is hilarious! - sorry -

    BTW - I have a little blog award (I don't know if you do those or not) over on my words on paper scraps blog

    ReplyDelete
  6. OY, you are funny, and so understandable! God bless you.

    ReplyDelete
  7. You didn't! And where was the handicapped sign???? What's really wonderful is that connections are possible.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Father forgive me for I have sinned. In payment that will be three Hail Mary's and two Our Fathers.

    You are forgiven daughter of God.

    xoxoxo

    love Renee

    ReplyDelete
  9. You are too funny. The scenario AND using your blog as a confessional. I will have to try that. I am sure it is very cleansing. I have not been by your blog for a while. I am glad to hear you have come to a decision about weaning Sophie off the new medicine. Also, I just went to an amazing homeopath in Santa Monica named Dr. Patricia Fitzgerald. If you are interested, email me. Maybe she could save you a trip to Arizona. Finally, I thought you might like this "Keep Calm" poster generator...

    http://dreamdogsart.typepad.com/art/2009/04/keep-calm-poster-generator.html


    I am sure you can think of a few choice words.

    ReplyDelete
  10. Ha!! I know God is laughing with you on this one!

    ReplyDelete

LinkWithin

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...