Our mother hates us.
That's the comment I got when I asked The Brothers to vacuum the living room and sweep the dead leaves from the porch and front walkway.
I thrive on hatred, I told them. Don't let my peacenik ways delude you of my real intentions. You might have to turn over those iPhones, iPod Touches, tightropes, horse heads and skateboards in exchange for a childhood of indentured servitude if you don't get busy right this second.
My daughter's response was always..."well, you borned me so it's you job..." Think that changes at 29 when their married, guess again!
ReplyDeleteWere we separated at birth?
ReplyDeleteHeh, heh, heh. *evil mother sweeps her cape behind her and strides from room*
ReplyDeleteThat's a lot more savvy than, "SHUT YOUR PIEHOLE."
ReplyDeleteHmmm.
Always good for a laugh, these kids of yours.
ReplyDeleteIf you aren't careful, Elizabeth, your sons will grow up to be memoir writers; you're giving them such rich material!
ReplyDeleteTorture is one of my pasttimes too.
ReplyDeleteAs mothers, it is our jobs to be mean. Plain and simple. It's in the handbook.
ReplyDeleteOoo, I need to teach Jude how to vacuum.
ReplyDeleteWelcome to the club. When they complain of that, I try to get them to figure out which one of them I hate the most...That's good for a little sibling bonding.
ReplyDelete