Tuesday, January 21, 2014


Why did someone make a movie about this girl? Is she a figure skater?

Why did Oliver's passport sit at the post office for one week after being delivered there?

Why did Mickey, the post lady with whom I talked, tell me how sad this was for Oliver but that there might be a hidden reason that I landed up with my baby at home? There's always a reason for these things, she said.

Why did Mickey not get on my nerves despite her cloying cliches?

Why am I eating entirely too many donuts these days?

Why is Sophie's nose so stopped up? Is it a cold? Did her nose break when she fell on it over a month ago? Is she allergic to the marijuana plant?

Why do we carry worry when there's nothing, literally nothing, to be gained?

Why have I not gone to a yoga class in a year?

Why am I not flush?

Why am I so lush? (too many donuts)

Why can't I throw out the stack of New Yorkers that I have still not read?

Why did I dream of myself the other night as pregnant at fifty, milling through a party where other women carried shopping bags filled with guacamole that they insisted were their own babies?

Why can I not get Bruce Springsteen's Thunder Road out of my head, and why do I still remember La Marseillaise, the French national anthem as well as Robert Frost's Two Roads Diverged in a Wood both of which I memorized in seventh grade for my batty old French teacher, Madame Marie Smith, but not my one true love's middle name?

Le jour de gloire est arrive. 
Contre nous de la tyrannie
L'etandart sanglant est leve

Aux armes, mes citoyens!
Formez vos bataillons!
Marchons! Marchons!
Qu'un sang impur!
Abreuve nos sillons!


  1. hahahaha--come visit me and I will give you the answers to everything.

  2. Why, indeed !

    You made me laugh and I am going to see Denise immediately.

  3. Gabby Douglas is an American gymnast who won a gold medal in the last winter Olympics. She has a wonderful back story that led to he success.

  4. I have Born in the U.S.A. stuck in my head! I would like to know why I have that song in my head when I was born in Canada.

    If you ever figure the worry thing out let me know.

    I hope Sophie's nose unclogs soon.

  5. You know, I just had a box sit at the post office for almost a week too! The tracking website said that it had been delivered to the post office, but it just never showed up. I''m thinking they're cutting back over there. And I must tell you that the bag of guacamole thing has me slightly freaked out.

  6. The New Yorkers are being saved for the cartoons, right? The rest of the questions, I cannot answer - but I enjoyed wondering with you.

  7. Donuts taste good.
    There are too many other things to be annoyed by then Mickey's annoying cliches.
    As gretchen said, there may be shortages at the post office but then why do I keep getting my neighbors mail? That has nothing to do with shortages?
    I think Sophie's nose is stopped up because of an allergy.
    What would happen to yoga and churches and therapists and the like if we didn't worry? We are supporting the economy
    Yoga is out and Yoga Nidra is in and that is why you have not been to yoga in such a long time..
    You plan to read those New Yorkers when you have time and then donate them to someone who needs magazines for collaging or to a library.
    The guacamole babies freaked me out too so I can't touch that one.
    Robert Frost's poem is one I imagine will always come back in your head from time to time because of having to memorize it the way we all did and it's beautiful.
    You are not flush because your husband is in Switzerland and you are not taking matters into your own hands... Sweet Jo This was funny

  8. The guacamole babies made me chuckle. The human mind is amazing. The passport thing sucks and that is all there is to it, but what can you do?

  9. Katie's had a stuffed up, runny nose for a month as well. It will pass. Sending hugs woman.

  10. Stand back, everbody; this might get messy:

    The figure skater fell and broke her nose which is causing Sophie's congestion because you ate too many Krispy Kremes while playing hooky from Yoga which is a simple set of excercises that celebrate the birth of the Buddha who was born in a manger under a pipal tree which was a late delivery because the stable was shorthanded on account of Mickey the inn keeper ran out of food and the poor baby Buddha had nothing to eat but guacamole so to keep him quiet his mother read him stories from the New Yorker while some dude calling himself the little drummer boy belted out a few chords of Thunder Road and at that point everybody decided not to worry about nothin' because doing so wouldn't add one cubit to anyone's height and they all lived happily ever after. Selah!

  11. Ah- the United States Postal Service as an arm of the Universal Karmic Decisionary Body.
    It all makes perfect sense now.
    Seriously though- why not?
    I have had pregnancy dreams my entire life. Still do. Guacamole has never been involved but boy-oh-boy! A lot of other strange creatures and things have.
    I think the moon and stars and planets are aligned into some bizarre arrangement now making us all worried and anxious and indecisive and craving foods we should not eat.
    I have no more answers.
    But I love you and I know that somehow, some way, we shall all trudge through, we shall see the light again, we shall come unstoppered, we shall...fuck. I don't know. Get a different song stuck in our heads?

  12. I dreamed that I was pregnant the other day and woke up in a cold sweat, but fortunately there was no guacamole involved. The subconscious is a strange, strange place!

  13. I have no idea who that woman is. She looks like a super hero in that suit.

    That is SO ANNOYING about Oliver's passport! Argh!

    I love Nancy's comment. I want to give her a gold medal for that one.

  14. I love this post, and am inspired to write my own version. I have been having lots of pregnant at 50 dreams, too. I think we are on the brink of our next "thing" whatever that may be. Let's hope it's more rewarding than actual children.

  15. Gabby Douglas has a wonderful back story and I hope she keeps on keeping on. And, um, guacamole? My kids when they were little would ask us why, why, why and my husband would say "because Y has a long tail and W has none." Makes as much sense as anything to me. And Nancy's comment, perfect!

  16. So Mickey didn't get on your nerves after the week you have had? Are you sure you haven't been to yoga lately? perhaps in your sleep…
    Is Bruce Springsteen your one true love? If so his middle name is Frederick Joseph… or Joseph Frederick… I can't remember.which but in re-reading it I am totally sure that he is not who you were referring to anyway.
    My kids love Gabby Douglas ( Olympic gymnast) but they could'nt believe they made a movie about her either.

  17. I would rather have a bag of guacamole than another baby.

  18. OMG. I don't know what's more fun--this post or the comments. LOL at Nancy's reply! And I am wondering if there is supposed to be a certain amount of time that should pass before a story is made about your life. I'm just saying. Nothing against Gabby D. and her hard fought gymnastics career. Wait--I just looked at the picture again. It's on Lifetime which doesn't abide by the biography rules.

  19. You have made me want to track all of the "whys" in my day! I'll bet I ask myself this more times than I realize, and maybe I should remember to look for the answers! Thanks for the smile!
    :o) BJ

  20. "Do that to me one more time" is stuck in my head after reading your next post. I sometimes have pregnant dreams and sometimes nursing newborns that get lost dreams. and I'm 67. guess it never ends.

  21. I can only answer the pregnancy one. I think you are pregnant with purpose and on the verge of something new and all of those other people wandering around with bags of guacamole drive you to distraction with their self-importance. You know you're here for something more lofty than that and they are all just wanderers with Mexican condiments. Pssshhhh!

  22. I periodically find myself singing La Marseillaise. Younger kids think that's weird. Older kids just don't ask anymore. I don't understand it. Some very enthusiastic French teachers, that's all I can figure out. Haven't had a pregnant dream for a loooong time. Watch it happen tonight!

  23. Ayons toujour l'ame nourrie
    Des feux qu'il inspirent tous
    Soyons Unis! Tout est possible

    Nancy your response is genius and hilarious!

  24. I am feeling much the same way. My mom calls it ennui. Wish we could meet up for margaritas and guacamole babies.



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