Wednesday, June 25, 2014

On being "legit"

I have absolutely never been any good in any sport except, strangely and inexplicably, bowling. I am a damn good bowler. I took Oliver and his friend bowling this afternoon, tied those lovely size nines on and started with a spare. Ya'll, I haven't bowled in probably five years. I think the last time might have been at Henry's birthday party that I know I chronicled on this blog. I'm too lazy to find the link. But my ever-growing Italian peasant arms are strong as hell even if it felt as if my thumb got some nerve damage.

I got a couple strikes and spares, one gutter ball and miscellaneous. And I beat both of those teenage boys. Afterward, when I treated the losers to lunch, I was mocked during a brilliant discussion about french fries for never using the right phrase when ordering a certain kind from In N Out (I'll admit here that I purposely use monster fries instead of animal-style fries just to get their teenager goats. Don't tell.). I sighed and said, Yeah, I guess I'm just a big uncool dork. Oliver's friend told me so is my mom (his mother is a beautiful, very funky, very brilliant and very accomplished artist with multiple degrees from Ivy League universities and about as removed from uncool dork as I am from world's greatest and leanest female athlete), but later they said that I was legit as far as bowling goes.
Here's the proof:

I bet with a little practice I could join a league and start traveling. This might be my ticket out. What do you think The Teenagers would think of me, then?


  1. Hahahahaha. Teen-agers. Gotta love 'em. I used to like to bowl. It was the only LEGIT thing to do (ahem) in my little town. I'm pretty sure if I picked up a bowling ball right now, I'd want a cigarette and a coke.

  2. Oh my god. The sound and smell of a bowling alley would knock me off my feet. I would die right there. It would be awesome.
    And I am the worst bowler on earth.

  3. I started bowling at the age of 6 until about 12. Had the bowling bag and ball. The whole nine yards. My parents let us hang out most every Saturday morning at that seedy alley if you can believe it. Smoke and all. I just oddly loved that place. We are off to bowl tomorrow. I adly will not be able to bowl probably. I have a bum thumb. Nasty arthritis. It's a bitch being almost 50.

  4. You should join a league. No seriously. Who knows where a PT you know what might appear?

  5. I think the I Ching might be involved here in some way. Join a league. Sweet Jo

  6. I totally see where your retirement is headed! :)

    I'm a bad-to-moderate bowler. Seems like I usually come out of a game with a score in the 80s.

  7. you should go bowling more often - despite of what is said, winning is good :)

  8. I am comforted by this, and will try not to take it personally when my daughters decide that I am a big dork. They haven't yet, but I know it's coming. 6



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