Thursday, February 4, 2016

Jake Gyllenhaal Just Fixed My Internet

The view from the rooftop of my CVS buiilding
Hollywood sign in upper left corner
my sexy, white Mazda at right

I haven't been around these parts the last few days because  the internets went down. We had to get all read books, do jigsaw puzzles and try to navigate the world without wifi, and good Lord, ya'll. I hate typing anything on my phone, and god forbid I should write anything long-hand like days of old, so I actually caught up last night with my chapter-a-day in War and Peace. I'd fallen behind about a week, and just like it goes with exercise, I was afraid that I'd never get back on the wagon. Now, I'm about caught up with the reading, and I'm thinking I should finally go to this Pilates class that I visited the other day and get back on that wagon.

This morning, after dropping Sophalonio off at school, I stopped at one of my favorite little restaurants and had avocado toast with poached eggs on top and a latte, made with whole milk. There were only a few people in the place, at a couple of tables, but each of them was talking about a script or lines or production. I've lived here for eighteen years, and it still strikes me in the funny bone that people are just so LA, that they don't have regular jobs but talk about movies and television no matter where you go. Yesterday, I went over to the CVS to pick up some of Sophie's poisons and took the above panoramic shot of part of my neighborhood and the Hollywood hills. That might look pretty urban, but when I drove down to Irvine for My New Job, all I could see were snow-capped mountains ringing the iconic skyscrapers of downtown. Again, it's weird to me that I actually live here, and I do love it so.

Speaking of Hollywood, the AT&T guy who came to fix my internets strolled into the house in a pair of cowboy boots looking exactly like a combination of Brad Pitt in Thelma and Louise and Jake Gyllenhaal. His ridiculous beauty reminded me of the time Sophie was in the hospital at UCLA back in the days when I actually thought bringing her to the hospital would help the SIT U AH SEE ON, and the attending pediatrician walked in, a tall, long-haired woman about nineteen years old with super tight blue scrubs on and a nipped in the waist lab coat. I remember looking at her haggardly, wondering if we were actually caught in an episode of ER because there is just no way that any doctor should look like that on a children's ward.


The AT&T guy must have been a big smoker, something that I would generally be disgusted by, but damn. I generally don't even like cowboy boots because they remind me of Texas and certain conservatives, but this guy was so cute that I thought about calling all my matron friends and inviting them over. It was almost embarrassing showing him my router that happens to be in my bedroom. I think the way to deal with a younger man in the South is to say, I bet your mama loves you. I didn't say that, but when he left, I told him how much he looked like Jake Gyllenhaal and that I was going to invite all my friends over to meet him, and he smiled and said, Thank you, ma'am.


  1. The router in the bedroom line literally made my day.

  2. Glad you're back.
    Why didn't you take a picture of him?
    He probably would have let you - you dark haired sex goddess.

  3. Oh, you know damn well that I would have laid that line out. But not when he was in my bedroom. There are rules to these things which absolutely must be followed.

  4. I'm smilin'. With the job in Irvine--- maybe a get together would be easier. I have no problem driving up!

  5. Well that made me blush, Ha! Not all of us Texans are conservative wackos ;)

    1. Who said anything about "wackos?"

    2. Ha, sorry I thought you were referring to Ted Cruz, wacko is the nicest term I can think to call him.

  6. Be still my heart.

    Hey - I think you have a real future in comedy writing!



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