Tuesday, July 31, 2012
I left my boys in Hilton Head and returned to Sophie and The Husband -- and the human weather -- in Los Angeles. This is only the second time I've refused to schlep with Sophie to the east coast, but it's difficult on nearly every level. We yearn to be a family like everyone else in my extended family -- a family that can pick up with relative ease and just go. Oliver cried when we left The Husband and Sophie last week, and he cried, again, when I left on Sunday to return to them. Why can't we all be together like everyone else? he said. My parents are disappointed that I didn't do so this year, as we celebrated their fiftieth wedding anniversary and took another family photo (into which The Husband and Sophie will be photo-shopped), but I just couldn't do it. Everyone knows the sacrifices and modifications families with disabled children must face, but this might be a silent one -- doing what is practical in the face of a nearly existential sorrow, acknowledging what is fact and accepting what will never be.
The boys are busy with their cousins, the beach, alligators and bicycles. The Husband is working so that we can all live as we do. Sophie is at Communicamp each day this week, which I'll post about later, and I am at home, sitting in the silence, both grateful for it and longing for its opposite.