Wednesday, April 2, 2014

Homeland Security Resolution, The Mad Hatter, Medical Marijuana, Guns, Vanity, Gay Teletubbies and Some Appropriate Cursing

So, it turns out that one of my wonderful readers and commenters works for Homeland Security, and she confessed to scrolling through my blog yesterday on her time off -- hence, the mystery is solved.

Dang nabbit. I was feeling all self-important.

Today, though, I am going to be photographed with Sophie for a newspaper article about medical marijuana in California. Late last night I confessed to another extreme parent who was on the East Coast (up with her child way, way past midnight) that I was terrified to be photographed lest I look bad or horrors upon horrors -- heavy. I hate that word, by the way, and have forced myself to say it. My friend S, despite the grueling nature of her day, her night, her life, actually, sent me the following photo of what I should wear:

That's called The Mad Hatter Costume. I laughed so hard I almost fell out of my chair. My friend also typed that she wished she had the wherewithal to be more publicly outrageous than she is, and that made me laugh hard as well. Given the circumstances, I wish that I were, too. The truth is that while I'm happy to be interviewed, happy to tell our story, fired up to advocate and help others who need this information, there's a certain part of me that's as pissed off as one can imagine -- or maybe not just pissed off but freaked out, overcome by absurdity. I'm angry that it took nineteen years to stop Sophie's seizures despite this plant being available -- with evidence that it might very well help. Let's call off the Jesus stuff and the miracles and the feeling all joyous and happy now that Sophie's seizures are reduced dramatically. I'm angry about the clusterfuckery that is the American healthcare system -- angry that people opposed reforming it, angry that it's still entirely inequitable, angry at the buffoons in my home state of Georgia who think it's oh so American to carry a concealed weapon around wherever you please but good golly miss molly not the evil weed! I'm angry that my friend from Wisconsin had to work her fanny off to get the almighty lawmakers to pass a bill -- last night! -- making it easier to get CBD for children like her daughter who has had seizures for a decade, part of her brain removed and countless meds poured down her throat yet my friends here in Los Angeles can suck on pot lollipops at hipster restaurants. And yes, I thinnk marijuana should be legal for even recreational use.  I'm angry that I'm nervous we might not have a steady supply of Charlotte's Web, that I'll have to grovel for it. I'm angry with Big Pharma, with The Man, with capitalism, with the Tea Bag Party and the damn libertarian ship it floated in on, with The Way Things Work. I'm angry with my anger. And I'm angry that seizures are so vicious, that they've damaged not only my daughter's brain and her quality of life but our family -- my sons, my husband, me.

Hell, I'm angry that I'm not still thin, too.

Well, damn this whole shebang. And my own vanity.

I'm wearing this:


  1. Whew! I hope the anger feels cathartic and cleansing. If not, I think you'd better put on the mad hatter's costume and go tell it like it is! When I think of you and Sophie being photographed, all I can picture is the dozens of photos of the two of you on the blog - lovely, light-filled, luminous photos that show the two of you pensive and dreamy and unified. I think that the love and commitment you have for her will come through in the photos, weight-be-damned. Love.

  2. I hear your anger and it is righteous and it is true. And why women have been so elegantly taught USUALLY BY OTHER WOMEN to hate our lovely bodies just makes me hate this country and others in which the suppressed are the suppressors.

    Love to you and Sophie.

  3. I've been seeing more news stories regarding medical marijuana and children who get relief from it. You're right to be very angry. Hopefully your high profile of your story will help many others.

  4. word in the Elizabethan language.

    I hope you do wear that Tellitubby costume. It's purple for epilepsy awareness, and all that.

    I think, you take their camera, lay down with your beautiful California sunshine shining on both of your faces and take a selfie of you and Sophie....that's the truest picture of the two of you.

  5. So glad the Homeland Security mystery was easily solved, but key-rist to the whole rest of it.

  6. Thanks for calling me wonderful and thanks for clarifying that I wasn't working I don't want people to think that I'm wasting their tax dollars!

  7. "I'm angry about the clusterfuckery that is the American healthcare system."

    Your anger is righteous.

    P.S. Tinky Winky was always my fave.

  8. I'm angry with you; in spite of grinning at "clusterfuckery" and guffawing at your Teletubby impersonation. You go girl!

    As to heavy pictures, adopt the model's pose (body 1/4 turn to camera), smile your Mona Lisa smile and let the fire-dragon show in your eyes. You'll scare the bejesus out of the authorities--nothing is scarier to white middle class men than an attractive intelligent woman with integrity.

    Please publish a link to the article when it comes out. And if you a

  9. painful humor, but not, unfortunately, humorous pain. everything here needs to be said, and said again. grazie.

  10. I am actually just tired but I think anger is more productive. Mountains are only moved with righteous fury.

    Though I will be a little angry if you don't wear the tele tubby costume during your interview.

  11. I have been so remiss in blog reading the past...omg, year!...but I am so freaking thrilled to read about what CBD has done for you guys. So fantastic.

    And, yes, so infuriating. SO, so infuriating that it took this long, that it's been available but not AVAILABLE.

    Mad hatter - perfect. We all know he was high, anyway, right?



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