Friday, December 26, 2014

The Day After

The urge to take it all down has to be tamped because I just don't have the will to do so, and Oliver who would ordinarily be the one to help has left for a week for Switzerland with his father. Diehard readers might remember last January's fiasco, when his passport didn't arrive in time, so his open ticket is being used at this moment. It will be a quiet one in Los Angeles -- just me and Sophie and Henry, and Henry will be using his father's car to ride around the shitty with his new license and his girlfriend. What to do? What to do? What to do? I ate an egg and a piece of toast and four Pecan Puffs. I ate a salted caramel and a bite of nougat. I sat in bed for hours and continued to read Strange Pilgrims, marking it with post-its -- such beautiful passages to share with the salon I'm hosting in January. I dressed Sophe in the sweater and jeans I bought for her for Christmas, told her that she looked beautiful and kissed the tip of her nose. I had the fleeting thought that though near twenty years, no boy will ever drive all over the shitty to pick her up and take her places, admire her clothes and kiss the tip of her nose. Sigh. It was fleeting. Everything is fleeting -- even the dudes in the dirt pit that used to be the house behind us, their Bobcat moving and dragging the dirt, digging holes, building illusory foundations. The day is chilly and the sky is blue.


  1. Safe travels to Oliver and his father.
    (Yeah, my lips to the gods' ears.)
    You know - for the first time ever I am not quite ready to take the tree down. I am still enjoying lighting it at night. What in the world has come over me?
    Sophie IS beautiful. And not in a fleeting way.

  2. I hope Oliver and his dad have a wonderful time!

    I also want it all put away and done with as soon as Christmas is over. It will have to wait a week or so though since flu has hit our house, and it has instantly moved to the very bottom of my list of things to do. Maybe by March.

  3. Everyone is part of the whole and when any one piece is away the air in the house I hope Oliver has a wonderful time but I know you will miss him. Henry, driving! Sophie is exquisite. So delicate. She will not miss the boy kissing her nose. She has you, her true love.

  4. tradition here says that you have to have your tree up until the epiphany, so it's ok to wait until Oliver is back, and in the meanwhile you can enjoy the quieter house.

  5. Annual events always get me with Katie. She's still handicapped this year. It's not that I don't love her it's just that I want more for her than the life she has. I want her to have a boyfriend, to have sex, to hold her baby in her arms. She doesn't know what she's missing but I do. And it makes me cry every year dammit!

  6. such sadness in the pit of my stomach for Sophie. I'll shake it off, but damn. It's a different kind of is what it is.

    I keep my tree up until New Years. Maybe some day I'll just never take it down.

    What would the neighbors say?

  7. Sophie looks as about as excited as anyone who ever got to wear a Christmas paper crown.

    Salted caramel. Whoever came up with that deserves to be sainted.

  8. Well, I'm glad Oliver got to use his ticket, and you're getting to spend some QT with Sophie.



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