I started the evening last night with the above photo -- I was lying on my bed with The Soph, and we had had a fine day. Soon afterward, Mirtha the Saint came to take care of Sophie, and I got dressed for a dinner out with friends. I drank a Manhattan at my friends' house, a delicious concoction of vermouth and whiskey and a maraschino cherry from Italy that was threaded onto a silver toothpick. I've never had a Manhattan, but I drank it to the very last drop. I sat outside in the cool, Los Angeles evening air, laughing and talking with old friends and new -- four men, actually -- two couples, one being two dads of kids my boys go to school with and the other two older men who have been together since 1975 and are now 77 and 80 years old. I tell you their ages because it was significant. We went to an Italian restaurant in West Hollywood to celebrate my friend's birthday, I ate burrata and tomatoes and then linguine with clams. We drank champagne first and then red wine. We talked for hours and laughed uproariously. One man nudged me, said, He's a good looking old man, isn't he? and nodded at his partner across the table. I was told that my eyes sparkle, and I'm sure they did. I felt completely enamored by these men's love for one another and for the life they live. In two days they are going to be married and then they will go on a cruise to Alaska. I asked whether I could go with them, and I am certain that they'd let me if I were so inclined. When dinner was over, we climbed back into one car, and I sat in the middle of the back seat, between my dear friend and the new friend. We talked and laughed some more. We went back inside my friends' house and drank a perfect glass of port. It tasted like berries warmed up and we talked and laughed some more. After a while one of the older man declared that he was fading, and I realized that I was too, so we said good-bye and walked to our cars. I called out Happy Wedding! as they drove away and nearly skipped to my car. How grand life is! I thought, How lucky we are to live in such a world where two men born in the 1930's can get married and go on a cruise to Alaska. I turned on the radio and felt another frisson of perfection as Mick Jagger sang you can't always get what you want, but you get what you need. I sang all the way home.
My children were up when I turned the key in the lock. Henry said, I hate this country. Zimmerman got off. He killed that boy with a gun, and those people thought it was all right. Henry is so tall, so narrow still, a man in shape only, unfinished, captive. Oliver stood behind him, a nervous smile on his face. I close my eyes, now, and see them both -- my boys -- inside the doorway, their faces blurred, one lined and angry, the other vaguer, uncertain, Mick Jagger's howl still ringing in my ears. I hate this country, he said again, it's stupid.
What does one say to that?
I wish I could explain dear Elizabeth, that in spite of, or perhaps because of your life of balancing special needs, teenage boys, learning difficulties, single-parenting, poetry and eloquence, that phew.... yours, is the place I go for comfort...everytime.
ReplyDeleteI have to think about this George Zimmerman verdict. I only just became aware of it. But I must say, it's not the outcome I expected.
ReplyDeleteSounds like you had a fabulous night. Despite daily setbacks and injustices I do think the world is moving in the right direction overall. I am not a fan of Manhattans, though. Give me a martini every time. :)
I, too, celebrate that men born in the 30's (or women), have lived to see the day they can legally wed. I don't know what you're supposed to tell Henry, other than life and the world are full of contrast, and that fine line between hope and despair must always be walked.
ReplyDeleteI think what Carrie said above is true. It's not all bad, of course. And we evolve, slowly but my god there are set-backs. Last night was a big one.
ReplyDeleteI love what Carrie said about walking that fine line between despair and hope. I also adore your children. You are helping to improve our world just by the way you mother them and that is no small thing. I am glad you had a magical first part of your evening.
ReplyDeleteYour night out was magical! Your son is so full of heart and wisdom. My kids too think that so much of this country is stupid, and so many of their fellow citizens are morons. I wonder if their cynicism is my fault sometimes. I try to point out that it takes all kinds of people to make up the world, and that our country is not perfect, by a long shot, but there is good if you look past the bad, but they sound like empty excuses sometimes.
ReplyDeleteI always enjoy meeting old couples, not just gay couples but mixed race couples as well. It can't have been easy for them. I grew up visiting my Auntie Ethel and Toni (Antoinette), never thought anything of it. They were just gay and part of our family. And your son, it's hard being young, everything is still so black and white, which is good sometimes but makes life so hard sometimes too. Regardless of what really happened, or the verdict, that man, George Zimmerman carries the burden of the young man whose life he took for the rest of his life.
ReplyDeleteLove you.
ReplyDeleteI love that you're taking time for yourself and getting out. Your friends sound fabulous.
ReplyDeleteNothing you can say. Henry will have to figure out an answer for himself, as we all do.
I keep telling Denny, "Bermuda".
I say, look what changes have occurred in the lifetime of your elderly new friends. We grit our teeth and protest the steps backward, but we uproariously celebrate the progress made by a lifetime of steps forward.
ReplyDeleteWith repect to the Martin case I'd tell your kids what I told mine. We live in a country where its supposed to be very hard to convict someone of a crime. The government has to have absolute proof. Even though we feel that we know what happened the government didn't have the high amount of proof needed. Tell them that before they can say that decision is wrong they would need to watch the trial themselves. And hen decide. I really wanted Zimmerman to be convicted but I don't think the jury had it wrong. The state of Florida did not make a very convincing argument.
ReplyDeleteMy oldest had a similar reaction ... She knew more about the case than I did. I am so proud of these kids. They will move mountains.
ReplyDeletesomehow I know you had the perfect answer. i'm constantly amazed by the disparities in this country - right now i'm sitting in an internet cafe in north idaho, and, well, life from out this window is full of contrasts.
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