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| Sophie, Car-wash, Los Angeles 2013 |
We're tribal people, and many moons ago I read a signature piece for the parents of the disabled called Welcome to Holland that I keened toward for about one moon and then crumpled up as I crumpled, lit it with a match, burned a few animal gods in sacrifice and threw it to the wolves. My tribe left Holland behind and ranges loosely at the borders, howling at every moon whether full and shining or slivered, letting only cracks in. Sophie's summer school (ESY) teacher sent home a progress report the other day, something I'd normally glance at in scorn because, really, what's the point? Our tribe resists the denial, doesn't welcome false blessings, looks for grace in contrast. Somehow, though, this small report of A: Produces markedly superior work and E: Excellent citizenship meant something. Under Teacher Comments: A pleasure to have in class!, the exclamation point seemed merciful. I fell back from the tribe for a moment, the moon's pull, the tide washed over me, outlier.
The hidden blessing, a note left under the rock (not the boulder). Outlier, pathfinder. xo
ReplyDeleteHow elegant and elongated and gorgeous Sophie's neck in that photo Sophie Sophia? A beautiful woman. A better Citizen of the World than I, I suspect.
ReplyDeletelove,
Rebecca
Rebecca is right- she is elegant, that daughter of yours. This woman-girl we all know a little bit and all cradle in our hearts.
ReplyDeleteThat piece was remarkable. Simple and, to my mind, perfect.
Every day you point me to another resting place on the path of understanding.
Thank you. Every day, thank you.
She has such unique beauty. Beauty from a place we can never go. A place only she lives.
ReplyDeleteHow isolating it must be for you, to have a child from another world.
The thing about a tribe is that, even if you fall back or hover around the edges sometimes, you are still part of it. And sometimes being part of something that holds you, catches you when you stumble in confusion, is a special kind of solace from time to time.
ReplyDeleteWhat a beautiful photo of your girl.
ReplyDelete