Is it a coincidence that the word "present" and "gift" are interchangeable? I still have tendrils of what it feels like to be rested, truly, in body and mind, and I'm doing my best to not so much hold onto them because that holding on is contrary to what it feels like, but to call them up like gods or portents or totems. In the history of sleep, I am sound, a read-for-several-hours-in-bed-at-night, watch the words fall off the page, turn off the light, roll to my side, close my eyes and -- when? how? -- sleeper. I never toss or turn or struggle. I wake, awake, a brain in full motion, always, always projected outward, the present underneath me, white and rumpled, my heavy body in the way.
Being able to sleep like that is a rare blessing, Elizabeth. I am so glad it is a gift of yours.
ReplyDeleteSleep is awesome ....because well, it just is.
ReplyDeleteYour recent posts remind me of the fact that revolutions happen in times of rising expectations.
ReplyDeleteAnonymous, that's an intriguing comment and I wish we could discuss. It's hard to do so, though, when you have no face or even voice. Email me, if you'd like. elsophieATgmailDOTcom
DeleteBeautiful...I sleep horribly some nights and find myself longing for the days when I could close my eyes and emerge refreshed from sleep.
ReplyDeleteLovely.
ReplyDeleteThat kind of sleep is a gift. I haven't slept like that in decades.
ReplyDeleteSorry Elizabeth. I only post anonymously because I don't have any of the types of profiles you list. I also didn't mean to be overly mysterious. My comment was just meant to say that your recent respite trip seems to have left you in a place where you are on the verge of making some big change or taking some big step. That when we go to better place we can see the need to change how we were living before better then we can when we are living it day to day. I have no idea what that means for you. But your lyrical writing always makes it clear to me that you give great thought to things in general and that maybe even without realizing it your time away to a place where you were able to be fully rested will allow you to make some sort of decision you weren't ready for before.
ReplyDeleteThat is so wonderful to have such nights! Most of my life, my nights were filled with terrible nightmares, through into my late 20's. Now, I struggle with turning my mind off, and insomnia plagues me many nights. Sometimes I find myself still awake when the first rays of the sun start streaming through the curtains...ugh.
ReplyDeleteI love sleep - it's like having another life. Maybe that's why I treasure naps and the mid day escape they offer.
ReplyDelete