Monday, November 14, 2016

Crushed Progress

adjective: progressive
  1. 1.
    happening or developing gradually or in stages; proceeding step by step.
    "a progressive decline in popularity"
    synonyms:continuing, continuous, increasing, growing, developing, ongoing, accelerating,escalating; More
    • (of a disease or ailment) increasing in severity or extent.
      "progressive liver failure"
    • (of taxation or a tax) increasing as a proportion of the sum taxed as that sum increases.
      "steeply progressive income taxes"
    • (of a card game or dance) involving a series of sections for which participants successively change place or relative position.
    • archaic
      engaging in or constituting forward motion.
  2. 2.
    (of a group, person, or idea) favoring or implementing social reform or new, liberal ideas.
    "a relatively progressive governor"

I bought a very expensive pair of progressive lenses less than a month ago. I have worn glasses for near-sightedness since I was seven years old, and over the last five or so years I've grown increasingly short-sighted as well. My eyes are near-sighted enough that I literally can't see -- say -- an alarm clock from my pillow or my face in the mirror, not to mention five feet in front of me. Outside a radius of perhaps five inches, everything is a blur. I have worn contact lenses for as long as I can remember, but for the last year or so, when I took them out, I couldn't read in bed either unless I placed a pair of reading glasses over my regular glasses. It wasn't a good look, but really only the boys saw me, and I just didn't feel like getting adjusted to progressive ones.


I bought this great pair of progressive lenses and have worn them for about a month and have never seen better. I also have a pair of prescription sunglasses, so this morning I put them on, hung the progressive lenses on my shirt and wheeled Sophie's chair out to the car. It's a bit of a production to fold up her chair and heave it into the back of the car, a daily task that you'd think would give me cut arms (waiting on them) but has, instead, given me a strong back and an even saltier mouth. Cursing helps to mitigate the labor and distract me. Sophie doesn't mind, and I imagine her silence, if broken, would be filled with curses. I dropped her off and then went on my grocery store rounds, drove back home and carried the groceries into the house. I took off my sunglasses and reached into my purse for the progressive lenses and they were, of course, not there. They weren't anywhere in the house, nor were they in my car, and it didn't so much dawn on me but actually hit me with a jolt that they might have fallen off two hours before when I put the wheelchair in the car. I walked back outside and to the street and saw them, crushed and broken into pieces. I felt sort of stunned and then sort of amused, enough to take a photo. I picked up the glasses and the pieces from the curb, brought them inside and burst into tears.

The metaphor of crushed progressive lenses doesn't escape me.


  1. Oh, honey. Ugh. Would they be on your insurance, maybe?

  2. Well. There you go. I'm so sorry.

  3. I am sorry that happened. The last time I broke my glasses it was expensive to replace them and I bought cheap frames and minimally treated single vision lenses. I can only imagine how expensive your glasses will be to replace. I hope you can find a good price on a replacement pair.

  4. Well, I just spent a small fortune on the same but haven't been doing as well on the adjustment to them. Especially with the iPhone and computer. But your post has reminded me that I had better get a spare. As I am truly blind without. Hurts because of the expense even at Costco or Walmart or discount places. Progressive lenses are very expensive so I might just get the distance lenses in my old frames to save some money.

  5. What a crappy way to get a metaphor. I imagine an orange t-Rex with tiny hands crushing your progressives.

  6. "(of a group, person, or idea) favoring or implementing social reform or new, liberal ideas." Metaphors rule my life.

    You will have to start wearing the Granny-String, or maybe the rubber band on the back of your head. Get little crystals on the String, a tassel on the rubber band, add a touch of glamour. You'll look fabulous, darling!

  7. Im sorry that happened, no matter how apt the metaphor. Hugs.

  8. Sweetheart-I was visiting a new mom the other day and her DOG bit me, right through my sweater. I hadda get a tetanus shot and my right arm really hurts. RIGHT arm, ha ha.

    So much for metaphors. Jesus.

    XXX Beth

  9. Oh, argh. There is just nothing good I can say about that. Except I like the purple color on your toes -- jazzy!

  10. Shit. Did you pay with a credit card? Does it have purchase protection?

  11. I recently switched to multifocal contact lenses (from single focus for nearsightedness) I found myself wearing my contacts and then also using reading glasses. The multifocal was supposed to correct this... I CAN read with the contacts but it's much more comfortable to just use the reading glasses along with them. So much for the 200% hike in price...

  12. Damn fucking shit. On the reality and the metaphor.

    I have to acknowledge that you are still wearing sandles in November. I put flannel sheets on my bed weeks ago.

  13. Dammit! So sorry. I know how expensive those are. I broke mine one week after the guarantee expired. The eye doc told me they could not be fixed, but I've been patching them with super glue and gorrilla glue every couple of months for a year. Yours are sadly not fixable. Sometimes life piles way too much shit in our paths. May you have better days and soon. xo

  14. "She is like broken glass. Dangerous with sharp edges; but beautifully complex"



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