Wednesday, May 27, 2009

Highway Robbery

I've been so busy blogging about politics and blogging travel groups and everything else that I've left The Girl high and dry!

Sophie is doing much, much better. She is having far fewer seizures these days which I attribute to the now complete wean of the new drug that we tried that did not work. She's still having them (in fact, I heard an enormous thump tonight and when I ran to her room, she was lying on the floor, stiff and jerking, her head so close to the edge of the closet and baseboard that I had to run my hands all over it, certain that I'd pull them away sticky with blood.) But she was fine -- just having a seizure.

I'm feeling lighter and easier and so is she. I'm thinking it's GRACE, pure and simple, and I'm grateful for it. I'd like to say that I prayed for this feeling but I only prayed for help in a very desperate way, over and over, and I don't really actually believe that there's a God, that kind of God, anyway, that answers prayers. I imagine that will offend some people and I hope it doesn't offend those who are praying for me and for Sophie because I think those intentions are incredibly powerful and I hope that they continue. I don't really know WHAT I'm saying except that maybe I believe in the randomness of fate and I certainly believe that nothing is permanent and that everything changes. In fact, my favorite book of the Bible is Ecclesiastes and that's because it's all about vanity and nothing being new under the sun. And I believe that when I'm desperate or praying or meditating I'm also responsible for LISTENING and for feeling gratitude when it's due.

I'm grateful.

Anyway, this ramble was to give you an update. Things are pretty good right now. I'm leaving on Saturday for Arizona. I'm taking Sophie on an overnight trip to see a very famous homeopath who helped us tremendously about four years ago. The impending trip and the good that has come before appears to be divinely guided. I believe that and thank the Universe for it.

But now I have something funny to share. Bitingly, wickedly funny. At least to me. Remember my post about our abysmal wait at the big grand cathedral-like hospital? If you don't, you can click HERE and refresh yourself. Because today I opened a slim envelope from the insurance company and read the EXPLANATION OF BENEFITS. Here are said benefits from above-referenced hospital:

Service Date
5/07/09 - 5/08/09

Type of Service
Private Room (and this really makes me laugh with its implication of something requested, something special, something like a hotel service)

Total Billed

That's dollars. Oh, and fifty cents. And that's just the room rate and doesn't include the EEG tech, the EEG itself, the glue that the tech used and the chemical he used to take it off, the radiologist who read the EEG, the pediatrician and resident pediatrician, the neurologist and his team and god knows what else we charged in that five-star PRIVATE room that we waited seven hours for.

I think that calls for a JESUS CHRIST! despite my admonitions to my children to never utter the Lord's name in vain.


  1. That photo of Sophie is so beautiful. I am happy for the good effects of withdrawal. Good luck with the homeopath...that stuff has worked well for my Sophie too. As for the $$$$...Wow. I am well aware of the fact that, in all of these years I have never paid one penny out of pocket for my daughter's hospitalization. It ain't perfect here, but it's damn good.

  2. Health care costs are INSAnE. Thank God for insurance. Out last bill was over 30,000. I can't even fathom that number. Even still, in calculates to less than 2,000 a day -- an absolute steal in comparison to your deal.

  3. Oh -- and please keep up posted on the homeopath. (I'm sure you will.) I'm excited to hear how that goes.

  4. How annoying, to add financial insult to the SNAFUs you encountered there. Sometimes I wonder about those insurance companies...I don't believe in "the devil," but sometimes I think there is devilish nastiness afoot in the insurance biz.
    I am not offended at your declaration of non-faith in a certain sort of God-image. The way you live and ask for help tells me what's in your heart, and it looks beautiful from here; so does your lovely Sophie. I'm so glad that she is doing better. Wishing you a wonderful trip together!

  5. What a lovely photo, she looks so peaceful. I am very glad things are looking up. I am blown away at how well you deal with everything.
    If I thing to much of about that bill my head may explode so I'll leave it at that.

  6. Your daughter looks beautiful in that photo especially. Was this cost bfeore or after the discounted PPO rates?

  7. send us the bill, Elizabeth.

  8. No, Jesus H! Christ.

    Have a great trip. Be well. Give S. a hug from me. I'll see you when you get back.

  9. I've had some BIG bills but that beats all. "Holy $$%^#@" is my favorite in these situations.

    When O was born friends recommended a homeopath in Arizona. I bet I could still find the name in my hospital notes and I bet it is the same person. She was purported to "work miracles", but at the time things were black and white for me and I knew she could take PWS away so what was the point. (Yes, I was so naive)

    I am so glad to hear the seizures have slowed and wish you the best on your trip!

  10. Mary, the homeopath is Vega Rosenberg. He's mainly a teacher and doesn't do "clinical" work -- he teaches large groups of people (generally alternative practitioners, other homeopaths, naturopaths, pediatricians and acupuncturists) who come from all over the world. Sophie will be presented as a "case," and our regular homeopath here in LA will be there as well.

  11. elizabeth...

    yes yes and yes

    to our vain desperation of our prayers, to the highway robbery (and the devil's visage) of the insurance industry, as well as the impermanence of our little lives here on this big blue marble...

    and thanks for leaving the encouraging comment for me.

    many, many blessings to you and yours.

  12. A good and an argh here
    Good for the grace you have
    Argh for the stupid bill

    I think God answers prayers, but not the ones we might want him to ... the ones when we pray for "something" ....

    I think he comes closer when we need him to though. Those kind of prayers. That's what he answers. And then the "somethings" fall into place where they need to.

    That's me ....

  13. This was an amazing post Elizabeth on about a million levels.

    I do believe in God but not the version of God that so many believe in.

    I believe or should I say hope?

    I believe that God did nothing to give me stage 4 cancer, to give Sophie seizures, for Karen's daughter Katie to be gone at 12.

    I think that was all because it was. All just simply because something went wrong in our bodies. All chaos in the universe.

    But I do many times not pray for God to heal me as that is not possible, but I do pray for God to be with me. And he is. And I find comfort from that.

    I understood this post totally.

    I too want people's prayers in whatever form they come in. However, I would give all my prayers and their prayers for Sophie.

    I could not believe the bill for the room. Ridiculous.

    I don't know how you guys do it in the states.

    I am happy that you like the book and I too am thrilled to have you as my friend.

    By the way, I love Sophie's curls.

    Love Renee xoxo

  14. I second your Jesus Christ! Holy Moly, that is insanity.

    I love the picture of Sophie - sooooo peaceful :)

    im glad you're feeling lighter...



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