Henry: Age 11
Oliver: Age 8
Me: Age 46
Sophie: Age 14
Henry: Do you think I'll be alive when the world ends?
Me: Why do you ask?
Oliver: Scientists say the world is ending in 2012.
Henry: That's three years.
Me: I don't think scientists say that.
Both: Yeah, they do. There's a movie about it.
Me: Nah. People are always saying the world is going to end. Always have.
Henry: Oliver will one day fart so loudly, the world will end.
Oliver: Yeah. An atomic fart.
All: (dissolve into uproarious laughter, showing peanut butter and pretzel teeth)
Clearly, my children would BENEFIT from a message from their President.