Wednesday, September 1, 2010

Finding Patience

As I lie next to Sophie, on her bed, as I untie yet another drool-soaked bandanna from around her neck, as I comfort the boys, telling them that the dent in the wall made by Sophie's head when she fell tonight is because it's a soft spot in the wall, as I go back and forth in my mind on how to eradicate the fleas on our dog and in our house should I use pesticide or not?, I think of patience. I take deep breaths in. I let them out.

I found this quote about patience at Tricycle Magazine. It arrived in my inbox, serendipitously, tonight as I cleaned it up.

Patience, or khanti, is the sixth of the ten perfections, or paramis (the virtues that one has to perfect in order to fully awaken; there are ten paramis in the Theravada tradition, six paramitas in the Mahayana). The clarity of wisdom and the softness of compassion are the companions of each of the perfections. Patience is motivated by our desire for inward and outward peace and by faith in our ability to accept things as they are. In Buddhism patience has three essential aspects: gentle forbearance, calm endurance of hardship, and acceptance of the truth.

The rest of the article can be found here.


  1. Nothing could be more made of this quote and the timing for me. Thank you.

    Sending patience.


    (OMG, the word verification is "denthead."

  2. Sophie's poor head ... I can't even imagine. A lot of times I think it is a blessing that Emily doesn't walk. She would definitely do more damage to herself if she did.

  3. Poor baby. I'm sorry she fell again. And I understand the way the brain starts going round and round sometimes when circumstances are simply too overwhelming. Mine has been spinning a bit, lately, too. Waiting is hard. Praying for you today...

  4. I am sending you and your dear daughter hugs from me...mothers can mother other mothers too.....that quote helped me today as well.

  5. Sorry to hear this sweet Sophie--for you and all those who love you. It's hard to hurt.


  6. gentle forbearance, calm endurance of hardship, and acceptance of the truth.

    This buddhistic view strives to obtain these conditions as a goal within itself, correct? Without regard as to the state they are needed for. I take an opposite view: context is everything. Their are states that patience would be counter productive. Of course even in the event of violent action one's mind must be calm and clear, which is a form of patience.

  7. breat in, breath out.

    yes. i need that.


  8. I loved reading this piece. I think about patience a lot -- usually my lack of it and fear that I can't develop enough.

    The description here really makes me think. Especially about how "softness of compassion" is a companion of patience. Because I often think it is lack of compassion FOR OURSELVES -- in the hard moments with our kids -- that then expresses itself in impatience (often targeted at ourselves!). I love the idea of being able to feel myself softening in compassion (instead of berating myself!).

    I will think about developing/working on 'faith in my ability to accept things as they are' -- recognizing that this is an ongoing journey. Sometimes I fear that I don't have the patience to go the distance as it were (when I think about getting older and my son still requiring so much care).

    I will check out the article (what is Tricycle Magazine!?) Very serendipitous indeed, I think, for all of us.

    I am very sad when I read about Sophie's head and your need to reassure the boys. I send you hugs and hopes for some relief from all Sophie is going through.

    I think you are a very wise, very giving woman with a limitless capacity for patience (even though there are times when it doesn't feel like it!)

    Thank you for sharing this quote. xo

  9. UGH. I hope you found the patience you were looking for. Or if not, a strong beverage.

  10. "Calm endurance of hardship" jumped out at me. What an unsung virtue, particularly in our culture!

    God bless you and sweet, lovely Sophie. AND those darling boys. And your Swiss chef.

    I love you and am SO FAR BEHIND in reading your writing - you are so prolific, and I don't want to miss anything! An interview that you forgot?!

    Grateful & happy that I was led to "the gift" for your birthday - one to make you smile - and am going to send it soon. Your beautiful knitted blanket was delivered to the hospital today. Just think what comfort it will bring to someone who is also "calmly enduring hardship."



Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...