Thursday, August 21, 2014

Dear Anonymous,***

Ouch. I guess I had it coming to me. I've never been one to mince words, as you know, and I'll acknowledge that I do a fair amount of complaining. I have much for which to be grateful, though, far more than I have to complain about, and I'm sure I could do a better job of writing about the good things, the things for which I'm grateful, those things that have been afforded to me by family, by friends, by strangers, by grace. Thank you for the reminder, however harsh your words.

Character assassination and your anonymity aside, thank you, too, for reminding me that Sophie is still alive. As long as she is, and most definitely even after she is not, I will continue to complain about, fight against and try to illuminate the very real problems and suffering that those of us on the front-lines of epilepsy and other diseases face daily. There is no martyrdom in suffering silently when problems can be faced, tackled and solved, and if my voice is a tad louder and at best, more articulate, than others, I feel grateful to serve in that way. 

I'm not sure why you're so angry, and I appreciate anger except when it's used to attack people personally. I figure that's why you've chosen to remain Anonymous. If you have it in you, I urge you to read some of the comments on the previous post -- they are both in agreement and dissent with my own, from parents, writers, doctors and even the "normal" people that you claim I disdain. For the record, I don't believe that there is such a thing as a "normal" life, but I acknowledge my sharp tongue and ready condescension for certain points of view. 

All the best to you,


***Anonymous' comment on my last post felt like getting smacked right on top of the head with a two-by-four. I think when things bother us, we need to look within and acknowledge why, wonder and acknowledge any truth to their comments, think about it, and then move on. I hope I can move on.


  1. That old saying "hurting people, hurt people"...I'm sorry you were in the backlash of their hurt.

  2. Anonymous comments can be awful. Mind you, so can non-anonymous comments. The internet seems to provide a release for displaced anger, my own included. I have anonymously commented on more than a few blogs in ways I would never ever ever do in person. Well, usually not.
    I like how you are taking the comment to kind of look at yourself. That's a good use of the comment. I had a different blog awhile back, one I deleted stupidly because my mother figured out the web address and she was like in her late 70s for goodness sakes and my blog was often bleak and about my depression and such. Then she died and the blog is still deleted. Sorry, tangent. Someone once commented on there anonymously- a really long comment about how I needed to get my act together and I was self-pitying and etc. Mostly true really but it shook me up for weeks.
    And it's hard to let go of of course because you can read it over and over and over, which I don't recommend.
    No solution really.
    I've been thinking a lot about anger, generally angrily, ha. Mainly my own and how powerful an emotion it is and how exhausting it is to restrain it. And yet it doesn't get better when I scream at a car whilst I am on my bicycle. One day I screamed at a woman in a convertible who kinda cut me off. I said, 'lady, I've got tons of displaced anger and you shouldn't mess with me.' She said, 'oh bring it on, me too.' It would have continued had she not threatened to drive me off the road and then taken off. That was another tangent.
    - Karen

  3. Regarding Anon.'s comments, of course, bloggers complain on blogs. That's where you let it out. Pasting a smile on everything is for the real world. I like your blog. I agree with your point of view on the ice bucket challenge. Please don't let that person make you temper your blogs. I enjoy reading them. Angela

  4. You know what, A Moon, Worn As If It Had Been A Shell? The more I think about it, the more it just bugs me. Who does Anonymous think she is to come onto someone's personal blog and say that line about complaining? She doesn't know what you go through. She only referenced losing a friend of a friend. Come on, that is not anywhere close to experiencing the type of trauma you have as a parent of a special needs child. But it would take someone naïve like Anonymous to suggest you need to be on your blog blowing sunshine up everybody's ass. And I hope she's reading this. She is probably one of those effing morons who dumped ice on her head. And oh, by the way those are the people who AREN'T helping the cause because they're taking the out rather than donating. You actually donated. You have done more for ALS now than she has. She should really just shut her ignorant mouth up. We can blog about whatever we want, however we want. And if she doesn't like it, she can write her own blog which I'm sure nobody will read because it will probably be all phony nice bc apparently that's how she thinks blogs should be written. And you've written a book. You know how to write stuff. Who is she to say how you should be writing. I am just getting more and more mad as I go along. This person really bugs me. Angela

  5. Anonymous Angela -- THANK YOU! Your words, so impassioned, have utterly cheered me up! Plus, you're damn funny. I so appreciate your support --

  6. Karen -- Thank you for your thoughtful words. I posted a link to a very interesting article that appeared in Salon yesterday. The link is on my most current blog on Sunday. It discusses a lot of the things that you've brought up. It's all so sobering --

  7. What a fantastic way to view the situation. Most people would have flown off the handle after that comment but the way in you which you have addressed it reminds me of how we should interpret negativity. You are right, when something bothers us, we should stop and take note of exactly why.

    I rarely comment (but always read) and just wanted to say thank you for reminding me of this. I’ll be sure to make a conscious effort to start bringing a bit of that decorum into my own life.

    As for the comment, please do not read into it. This is your place and you can furnish it with whatever you like. Unfortunately unlike your home, you do not have the choice as to who to invite. The world contains a lot of anger and anger seems intent on recruiting others by pushing buttons a little too well. Please don't give negativity the air time it craves. Much love to you.



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