Monday, June 14, 2010

Amma


I woke at 4 am this morning and sat up, looking around. The Husband was sleeping with Sophie and everything was quiet and dark. I didn't feel anxious, either -- sometimes I'll wake like that and seconds afterward will hear Sophie having a seizure, as if I'm some sort of seizure-alert dog. The bed wasn't shaking from an earthquake and, like I said, all was quiet and I felt no anxiety. I lay back down and as I closed my eyes, I realized with a startling clarity that today, June the 14th, is the fifteenth anniversary of the day Sophie was diagnosed with infantile spasms. I don't formally recognize this day and for many years have only given it cursory atttention -- in the beginning, the first ten years or so, I'd feel a dread every time the day came around, but I don't remember the last time I really thought much about it.

Why, then, had I woken and sat bolt upright?

Well, today was the day that I was taking Sophie, Henry and Oliver to meet Amma, the living saint. In the strange and wonderful world of bloggers, I began corresponding with Teresa of All of Us, and she had sent me some of Amma's blessed ashes and a postcard of her many months ago. They have sat in Sophie's room ever since, the Indian's beatific face smiling out from the bookshelf. I have called upon her in moments of despair, the same calling out that I'll do for God, for Jesus, for the Buddha, for Guru Ram Das. Teresa contacted me a while back and let me know that she would be visiting Los Angeles and would love to introduce me to Amma.

So, today, the fifteenth anniversary of Sophie's brutal diagnosis is also the day that we were all embraced and blessed by Amma.

I have no other words except Hope.

19 comments:

  1. Is she the hugging guru? Oh. I am sure she blessed you and your babies, too. No matter what the result- you were blessed.

    ReplyDelete
  2. How wonderful - HOPE indeed. I'd love to read more about her, and about this meeting. Love to you.

    ReplyDelete
  3. And I am hopeful for you. Can't wait to hear more about it.

    ReplyDelete
  4. No accidents!

    Can't wait to hear how the meeting went!

    ReplyDelete
  5. How wonderful! I believe that good travels. Being blessed is good. I'm hoping with you.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Your blog cought my eye today when I saw the picture of Amma~!!!! I have posted about her and we seem to have quite a bit in common! Way to go on the blog and BE WELLLL!! I have a huge connection with Amma. Let me know if you want to read my blog about her, it is pretty awesome. I will send you the link. We are all connected :) PEACE Rebecca

    ReplyDelete
  7. I'm so glad you posted about her. I just went and looked at the site about her, and I am also filled with hope. Looking forward to hearing about the meeting!

    ReplyDelete
  8. Hope.It propels us into the next day.Gotta have it.

    Anxiously awaiting a post about your meeting.

    ReplyDelete
  9. she is beautiful.
    as are you.
    patiently,
    hope filled
    and
    waiting.

    ReplyDelete
  10. I send my hope.

    love to you

    ReplyDelete
  11. i was a bit sceptical when i met amma. but that face, and that smile, the deep look in the eyes and the embrace.

    she spoke mostly about the lengths to which she will go to procure ice cream. what's not to adore?

    blessings to you, the boys, and your sophie. xo.

    ReplyDelete
  12. OK, that sounds amazing. I'm also looking forward to hearing how the visit went. I assume Amma hugs grown-ups, too? Some days, I could use a hugging guru.

    ReplyDelete
  13. She's my friend Elise's guru. She's amazing.

    ReplyDelete
  14. Did it go well? I don't know of Amma, so I will need to look her up. She does have a kind face. I hope it went well.

    ReplyDelete
  15. Connecting with people with an open heart. Goodness can come of this.

    ReplyDelete
  16. I know Amma through Teresa's blog only. Hope and peace are good gifts.

    ReplyDelete
  17. How did it go? Can't wait to hear, like all above. Saw the article in LA Times today.

    ReplyDelete

LinkWithin

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...