That's It

Now I'm so mad, so upset that perhaps a rant here on the blogosphere will alleviate some of the anguish I feel. I'm titling this photo Reality:

This is my daughter, Sophie, who has been in a steady decline with increased seizures, weight loss and a general malaise for months. She was diagnosed with ESES, a rare and devastating seizure syndrome, for the second time (the last episode was five years ago) one month ago. Her neurologist prescribed treatment with IVIG (intravenous immunoglobulin), a treatment that she received successfully five years ago.

It has been four weeks since the diagnosis, but she might have been developing ESES for a while. I am watching my daughter waste away WHILE THE INSURANCE COMPANY, ANTHEM BLUE CROSS OF CALIFORNIA, for which I pay tens of thousands of dollars in premiums,  FUCKS AROUND FIGURING OUT AND "REVIEWING" WHETHER THE TREATMENT SHOULD BE COVERED. I spoke with my doctor's office manager today who said that it is still under review. She hopes to press urgency upon them tomorrow morning.

I am so upset that I've wept, profusely. I am frustrated and angry and lashing out at pretty much anyone who has ever had a kind or supportive word about our healthcare system, about the insurance industry, about the bullshit idea that we live in a country that is GREAT. I have gotten advice from friends and family that perhaps I should contact one of my very wealthy friends, someone powerful enough to bypass this system. And I have to say that that makes me cry BULLSHIT even louder. Of course, I will do that, but why should I have to do this? Why should the damn almighty dollar determine EVERYTHING?

And, yes, I think my daughter deserves this treatment. I believe I've paid for it by the hundreds of thousands of dollars that I've probably spent over the years in premiums. I believe that Anthem Blue Cross is systematically preventing my daughter (and countless others like her) from receiving medically necessary care because it doesn't help THEIR FUCKING BOTTOM LINE.