I wondered whether or not to let Sophie go to her school's Black and White Ball. She is graduating from eighth grade, but she goes to a school where we've never really been a part of the larger student body. She's in what's called a special day class, and while that small community is a bright and warm one, the rest of the school is enormous and we've never really felt like part of it. I almost always dread the "normal" activities -- where I feel compelled to go and almost pretend that we're just like everyone else. It's a grit your teeth and we're here because we're integrated into normal life but not really kind of feeling, and as the years have gone by and I've grown more confident in accepting what our life really is, I haven't had much of a problem saying no to some things.
But when I asked the aides in Sophie's class whether or not I should bring her, they insisted that of course she needs to come! And I found out that I not only didn't have to go, but that I was not allowed to go! It seems that the Eighth Grade Black and White Ball is for the students only. It was good comeuppance for my own negative projections -- and an out for me, too.
I dressed Sophie in her white, silky dress and some black tights. She is weakened right now by ESES and looks very, very thin, but she smiled when I told her that we were going to the dance. She really did. And when I dropped her off, I gave her aide my camera and begged her to take some pictures. She walked off with her friends Maria and Caesar and evidently danced with them, too.
A life of her own.
Some day she will thank you for this.ReplyDelete
When she comes out of her shell she will remember and smile, realizing she did indeed had a life of her very own. Her silvery tail left behind like Cinderella's shoe, to allow her to dance last night, she looks lovely and happy. What else could be important?
What a lovely dress she has on...and so dear of the aides to take pictures for your family to have and enjoy. Hope you frame one for her to have in her room as a memory of her 8th grade graduation.ReplyDelete
How Victorian she looks in that first picture!ReplyDelete
that dress is Victorian looking, she looks like a beautiful princess!ReplyDelete
i'm glad she went and glad you let her. glad you have each other.
"a life of her own" .... Most powerful words I've read on your blog this year (for me anyway). I don't know which touched me more, the poster at the fundraiser or the picture of her on the dance floor. OK - it was the picture on the dance floor. TOJ = tears of joyReplyDelete
That smile...and those rich, huge, deep, dark, lovely eyes, above that smile! I'm SO HAPPY that Sophie got to experience this fun event on her own, with her school friends. Congratulations to her on her big night out, and please tell her how pretty she is, from me.ReplyDelete
She looks like a ballerina in photo 1 & 2. I keep thinking about a plaque a friend gave me a few years ago. It read:ReplyDelete
"And when you get the chance to sit it out or dance, I hope you dance."
I'm not a big fan of country music, but the refrain from that song meant a lot to me. My friend wanted me to reach out and grab the joys that came my way in the midst of illness.
I'm so happy that Sophie got to dance.
A beautiful girl with a beautiful smile in a beautiful dress.ReplyDelete
Well, Dear One, I love this post. She is beautiful. I understand (as much as I do) the uncertainity of allowing her to go... and I am so glad you did.ReplyDelete
Really, I love these photos.
It's wonderful that Sophie could go, and that you could stay behind. Wonderful that such opportunities exist.ReplyDelete
I'm so glad she went, and that you didn't. She looked lovely in her white dress. Hope door 3 is working.ReplyDelete
She is beautiful. I'm glad she went, these are memories worth having.ReplyDelete
So perfect...so beautiful.ReplyDelete
Just catching up on your blog since I've been away, and I'm so glad I did on this lovely Sunday afternoon. I wouldn't have wanted to miss Sophie looking so sweet and happy to be taking on the dance floor.
And that photo of her in the lifesize poster from the fundraiser...gorgeous. I am just melting right into her eyes.
I love the last photo in particular--boogey on down!ReplyDelete
I've seen Sophie before--in some museum, captured on canvas in a lovely white dress with her curls framing her sweet face. It's a magical portrait by Sargent, perhaps, or Cassatt. I hope she had a magical time.ReplyDelete
Oh, she looks so beautiful and happy! What a great experience - for both of you.ReplyDelete
P.S. I love her shoes :)
That woman? The one holding her as she danced? She reminds me of the angels who took care of my friend Lynn and who danced with her and then with me when Lynn couldn't dance any longer.ReplyDelete
Your daughter IS living a life. Her own and the one you keep in the palm of your heart.
And she looks beautiful.
Oh, Elizabeth. That last line got me.ReplyDelete
BTW, we are reading each other's blogs at the exact same time. No accidents.
so wonderful that she went off to the dance and that you didn't have to. A life of her own! I know that ambivalence and also that joy.ReplyDelete
"special" really is the word for itReplyDelete
I imagine her now, forever dancing in the magic of this.ReplyDelete
as you are , no doubt.
and as I am , touched by such beauty.
Beautiful -- on so many levels.ReplyDelete